Most of us have a wounded understanding of what it means to belong.
It’s not what our inner 5th grader thinks; it’s not the desperate longing to fit in so you feel normal and safe and okay. It doesn’t come from you conforming to what other people find acceptable.
No, belonging isn’t what the inner 5th grader in you thinks it is.
Most of us carry woundings around what it meant to be loved and accepted as kids. In one way or another, we had to betray our true nature in order to do things the right way and continue to be called a good person in our family. Above all else, we wanted to belong. We wanted to fit in.
True belonging comes from deeply knowing yourself and through that journey, you begin to belong to yourself.
Your true journey is in knowing yourself so deeply that you feel easy in your own skin. You love and accept who you are. You make decisions which feel right in your gut vs right according to someone else. When you belong to yourself, you claim and honor your own your unique way of being in the world. This is when you’re broadcasting authentically from your right frequency. This is when you are being your truest self.
What if the longing you feel today is an invitation to belong to yourself?
The longing you’ve felt throughout your life to fit in and do things the right way in order to be accepted and loved in your world was powerful. That longing still pulses in you today. It is still alive in your nervous system. Hopefully, you’re here reading this because you are someone who is waking up. What if this is an opportunity to recognize that longing as something which is really driving you to dive deeper in order to welcome, love, and accept yourself? Not everyone will get it, but I hope you do.
You cannot continue to allow yourself to listen to the old wounding and its message, which is keeping you on the surfacy issues of your life, driving you to attempt perfection in some strange imitation of the popular kids (or your overbearing parents!) while at the same time hoping to know yourself deeply and feel good in your own skin.
Belonging was never about fitting in, it was always about you coming home to yourself.
The truth of who you are and what you’re meant to be or do in the world will shine more clearly as you continue letting go of trying to fit in according to someone else’s standards and welcoming and embracing yourself as is.
The biggest thing I can offer you is the encouragement to continue to explore this truth: at the root of every wounding you’ve experienced around not being good enough, not belonging, feeling unworthy, feeling unloved, there lies a gift…a little gold nugget which adds to the brilliance of who you truly are.
But if we aren’t showing up for ourselves as a loving witness and guide, that pulsing in our nervous system will continue to keep us scratching at the surface, trying to make nice and not take up too much space, all the while completely missing the point that the treasure we’re really seeking is buried deep within our own hearts.
What you seek is seeking you — Rumi
Yes, the treasure we really seek is buried deep within our own heart.
Hugs and love and rock this day like you really mean it,
updated 4/23/2019