On a healing journey, we often find that there can be an intensity experienced when moving through old energies and releasing them. I call it suckitude. We are moving through the suckitude… and often it feels hard and challenging. But in the bigger picture, we are moving through. Maybe, hopefully, we are finding out as we make our way that it’s not as bad as we once feared it would be.
This conversation today is about the personal journey we’re on — the emotional one, the codependent journey we’re healing from, and then also our experience of being in the world such as it is today and how that impacts us.
In this episode:
Worry and judgment about our experience and the way we’ve been feeling? Trying a new perspective, a whole new opportunity for clarity on what you really want. What do you really want?
We are moving through some big levels of suckitude… the feelings are intense, the experiences we have can be intense. But what if we learned to recognize the sign of our stress, our pressure, and release and honor some time for ourselves to let that thing happen.
Spiritual farting. It has to come out.
How are we making it harder than it has to be because we’re scared and afraid and also feeling attached to the outcome?
So much of the time our suffering leads us to do things that keep making it worse
What to do with the old familiar ‘Tennis Match’ we sometimes enter into
Healing stories around what we have not accomplished
Learning to heal those inadequacy stories
Secret secret shame stories
Fears of “only just” being a mom, or not being a “real” writer or a “real” musician…
Codependent identity — the ways we became “screwed up” in our families of origin and now are in charge of owning our own part and healing
Gentle gentle healing and what that looks like rather than deep excavation
Identity in the world. What makes us feel legit. And what if you go against the “grain” of what the world thinks?
I share a sweet poem from Rumi
This week’s featured letter: How is it true that I’m perfect already
All this and more! Come grab a cuppa yum yum and meet me here:
Listen to this episode here or read the transcript (with timestamps) below.
🎧 Listen to Episode 154: We’re Moving Through These Levels of Suckitude and It’s Not as Bad as We Thought It Would Be
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Tea with Robin Podcast Show References
Related links for this episode:
Sacred Triggers = Holy Shift // Tea with Robin Episode 149
The story of Helen Shucman and Bill Thetford, ACIM
Rumi – You must ask for what you really want (don’t go back to sleep)
Sliding Scale Sessions with Robin
Robin’s Classes – A Course in Miracles, Lightworker LOVE, Healing Practitioner’s Course
⭐A Course in Miracles Quotes:
“I must have decided wrongly because I’m not at peace. I made the decision myself but I can also decide otherwise” — Chapter 5
You might enjoy the Course in Miracles practices I offer here.
⭐Books:
A Course in Miracles: Combined Volume
Every Book I have recommended on the podcast here
Thank you for listening, may it serve you!
Hugs and love,
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Tea with Robin Episode Unedited Transcript
0:01
Hello Beloved me Robin. Robin Hallett, intuitive healer and Light Sparkler, and Robin hallett.com, and this is Tea with Robin. On today’s episode, we are moving through the levels of suckitude were experiencing, and maybe we’re figuring out but it’s not as bad as we thought. It’s not as bad as we once feared it would be this conversation today is about the personal journey we’re on the emotional one. The codependent journey we’re healing from. And then also, our experience of being in the world such as it is today, and how that impacts us, we are moving through the levels of suckitude, we’re ascending. We’re healing, and it’s not as bad as we thought. All this coming up next. Come grab a cuppa yum-yum and meet me here. Hello Beauties soul, friend. It’s me, Robin, welcome back to the podcast Tea with Robin. This is Episode 154 154, and you will find the show notes, Robin hallett.com Slash 154 If you go to the episode description here, you’ll get to it. Plus, a complete transcript with timestamps. Loosely checked over, because every, every once in a while that transcript says something really out of sync with what I would say here. It’s funny. So welcome back welcome back, new friends, returning friends. Hello, this is our time to come together on the journey. And hopefully, using these principles or anything I’m sharing. I hope that it helps you take what’s going on in your own life, and make it even more amazing and awesome and effortless and easy for you, which is very different than an ego trip that a lot of us, accidentally end up on, I’ll say accidentally because, yeah, we’ll just say it’s an accident. No we’re not trying to be some spiritual thing. We’re trying to live a life we love to claim, we love to be in. Right. One of ease and joy, so it’s my intention I hope today and every day that I come here to be an Inspire of that for you. And you are there for me too. So thank you so much. If I talk to you this week in session or messages with you somewhere. Thank you, and it’s lovely to be off, isn’t it. Yeah. And whenever I’d say like spiritual identity as an ego, a spiritual ego, it’s really well. It’s big stuff. It’s big stuff, but you can be one with the beloved without living on an on a mountain top shaved head, eating bugs, I mean I really when you can, you don’t have to make it so hard. You don’t, you know, life doesn’t have to be hard, but we sure feel that it is hard, and we share feel that there’s a way to earn the blessing of God if somehow make what is so hard and challenging our mission in life, and come out some version of perfect, then we’ll be okay in the eyes of God and spirit, and of course you can convert my stories. And you, if you’re open to that you will find your own stories and what I’m sharing. So that’s us. And, you know, largely, I think about this time of the pandemic, also known as the pandammit is such a time of awakening and realization. You know it’s my prayer and hope that once we come to our own understanding that this time has been a gift for us to evolve, to heal, to grow into who we’ve always been but didn’t really know it, you know that we can use this time it’s a great awakening, and honestly no judgment on how you’ve been getting through it. It’s, it’s,
4:49
it’s hitting us all in different places is needed, I think, you know, however we’ve been getting through this time, you know, is our way and it’s, it’s okay. There’s no perfect way. I’m trying to say that that’s what makes us suffer so much, so much because we think there’s a perfect way. And only through the perfect way will we have the blessing and there’s got to be, you know, if I can’t figure out the perfect way there has got to be a $499 course somewhere on the internet that will tell me the perfect way, you know. So, this path, I cracked myself up this podcast I hope is an extension of the love I offer in healing sessions, and online mostly Instagram and mostly in my stories, the love and support, and kindness that I want to extend to you to help you and me know, like we’re all right and we’re doing all right. and it’s all right to be us. We’ve had a lot of big ticket items happen to us in our lives. We’ve been through a lot, and we want to live a satisfied meaningful life. Yeah. So friends, before I keep going with, with this message today. Did you bring a copy of yum yum with you today. What have you got for me. I, I think the Dr. Pepper was a hit from last week. That’s what I’ll say, and thank you. I hope we can bring it out of the guilty closet, a little more, because everything here is holy, you know, everything is holy, there is no bad stuff, but thinking makes it so and how we choose to use it, is another level completely. So last week I had a Dr. Pepper. But this week, I’ve got my good old trusty Earl Grey, with sea salt and a little stevia and I raise a couple yum yum to you, beautiful soul, and if you would indulge me, place a hand on your heart. This is for you. You are doing an amazing job. Give yourself, these props, blessings and love. And cheers to your journey. Cheers to the way you have held yourself this week for even for the times you forgot to be good to you. It’s all perfect. It’s all a perfect unfolding. Cheers. So good. I got invited to be on a podcast, the other day, and it’s, you know I used to think that would be such a big deal, like arriving, thinking we have to get somewhere with all the stuff that we do, you know, missing the trees. How do you say missing the forest for the trees. When we become so small focus, we missed so many things like, I’m already on a podcast, it’s his podcast. And I want to show up and make this this spot. Every week, effortless and easy for me but also for you, you know, you know like, not a lot of hoops to have to jump through, so that we can receive the good and I, there are so many things when I’m out in the world, listening or doing or following recipes, I’m saying out in the world but Hi pandammit So, this has become my out in the world, like when I ventured out into the world of Instagram when I ventured out into the world of, you know, my favorite chefs who I learned cooking from online, you know, when I venture out into the world of whatever. Right now, sometimes what I really notice is how freaking hard people make it to access their light, it’s so challenging. And, you know, I’m only. I’m bringing this up because truly I’m only ever grateful, I do. You know I used to worry about saying that phrase, but I have listened to myself, long enough to know it is true.
9:42
When I’m intensely suffering through all kinds of ways I make it hard on myself, I come to that place where I’m grateful when I’m choosing easy mode and I’m seeing how other people are choosing difficult mode I’m grateful you know so that’s why I’m saying only ever grateful, it’s such a great practice, and rarely the first response, I’ll say that because I like I like the honesty of that. It’s rarely the first response, but it’s where I want to be. So, got invited to be on a podcast, you know, connecting with somebody. And talking about healing, And then I get the dirt, the. What do you call the directions are that okay great if you want to click here, not click here and just pick a date on the calendar, it’s like click here. Okay. First, in my mind so I’ll say first in the privacy of your own home do five cartwheels 39 somersaults and honk like a donkey 10 times, I would rather just say that, because I’m reading through the steps. And what I noticed is the way we make things harder than they have to be the way we assume people won’t understand unless we say it to them. At nine different ways, and it just feels like a lot of fear in there, a lot of fear and projection. We over worry, and then we over prepare and then we over prepare and then we over do, and that’s how it felt, which sucks. It sucks, you know, in a way, but, yeah, yeah, So I’m reading through the step number eight. I just hit that place, and I said to myself, you are not interested in hitting that place anymore anywhere in your life, even when it’s real. Like, to my own body or to my own kids or to my own friends you know what I’m saying like this was like this was just somebody found me through a hashtag on Instagram and invited me on to their podcast and then this application comes up to be on their podcast and it’s enormously exhausting, even just getting to step three, but you know I read the step eight because I’m fascinated. I am like, I’m really zoomed in on the way we make our lives hard and we don’t even see it. And I can’t speak for the person this might have been all valid so I’m not before anyone thinks I’m really getting them, this person, I’m saying, I’ve been there. I have done that. And where I’m at today is, it’s, it can be easy. And when you let it be easy when you stay in the state of flow and grace. Are you listening to me right now, or what. Yeah, the light of God can come through and talk to you, even if you’re not religious, even if you have religious Aiki this spirit that you most want to be aligned with can speak through you, to you and through you. He can answer your deepest questions your biggest longings, he can help you. But you know, if you’re in there. Oh my god, like creating a freaking macro made wall hanger out of directions on how to have a 35 minute conversation. We got to talk. We don’t got to talk, I’m only ever grateful because here I am. I get to talk to you about that. And, you know, I was telling you last week, I am the secret keeper here in the posse. But the blessing of that too is I know that there are billions of ways to make yourself suffer. Billions and, but there’s only one way to wake up. And that is to be here. Get here. Come to the moment, get in your heart.
14:27
I can describe it a billion ways we can make it so hard and so today I want to talk to you about this because I’m feeling it, I don’t remember which episode I mentioned, we are up-leveling as a posse I feel us doing that I’m noticing it. I guess what I’m trying to say is through that energetic osmosis process that we share, we are all up-leveling, and it feels like we’re hitting a wall of hitting a world of Solitude at the same time. Do you know what solitude is when it sucks when it’s hard. When it’s challenging when you’re so uptight. When you’re tight when your body is responding to your stress. When you have migraines when you’re perpetually bitchy. You know you’re, you got that face, I’m making it right now, I’m glad you can’t see me but it’s like really squinty and like, you know, you’re perpetually bitchy crispy, you might be feeling some of these things, you know, I’m thinking of altitude sickness, when I was a little girl, I would go on road trips with my family in Germany and we would go to places that are really high elevation and I remember that altitude sickness, you know, things fall out things feel challenging, but it’s a lovely thing to recognize that our own experience could be due to this up-leveling, you know, and don’t let yourself get caught there. Don’t make your journey about that, like, if you’re having symptoms altitude symptoms, or you’re having symptoms of your fear and anxiety. What if you knew that, instead of getting caught there. For me, it’s really important that we learn to recognize the sign of our stress, our pressure, our release that’s trying to happen, release valve, you know, an honor, some time for ourselves, to let that thing happen. I was cracking somebody up the other day in session because I kept talking about spiritual farting, You know, it has to come out. You know I don’t I wish I had a better analogy for you, but the body provides so many really relatable things, but if you have, you know, bloating, the best thing, If it can is to let it out right you feel better after that, if you can. That’s what I’m talking about but so much of the time, our suffering, you know, leads us to do things, think about a time you cut your own hair. And you made that one fatal chop and then you kept going because, for sure you could fix it.
17:49
You know what I mean, like we keep making it worse, we think, I just got to fix it… one more thing, one more thing, you know, one more, one more thing. I got to write in these directions here. It’s exhausting. It’s exhausting to you, it’s exhausting to us. When people ask me, Why isn’t this thing taking off, how come people don’t buy my thing or want my thing or my friends don’t like my thing. It’s such a great opportunity to talk to them there because they’re moving through levels of suckitude that they don’t even know they are moving through when you’re together in a practice of wanting to be awake, like I say Wherever two or more are gathered in my name there, I’ll be also, you know, when we invite the light into these problems. We might be able to see more clearly how am I in my own way with this stuff, how am I making it harder than it has to be because I’m stressed and anxious and scared and afraid and really attached to the outcome here, which is all a lot of us, a lot of the time we get very attached to the outcome. So, we’re never just creating art for the hell of it, we’re creating art, to provide a living, to sustain us in our old age, you know like, there’s all these big-ticket stories attached. And then things become very difficult and challenging, and hopefully my prayer is that we’d see a little more clearly, that we make it hard, we get in our own way. We carry these difficult challenges. And then, you know, with so much love I say we become difficult challenging people to work with, we write difficult challenging directions, We create difficult challenging hopes or forget, we just don’t even finish, we don’t even show up because it already is so different. We’re overwhelmed by our own soccer dude energies, you know, I hope, I hope this is landing. And, you know, I feel sensitive because once in a while I do you get that sort of hater mail that says, you just sound like you’re a No at all, and I can’t help that. Actually, I’m not a No at all, I am. Love you all, I want to help us get through this, and the only way through is to really see how we play in this energy, all on our own. Yeah, make it harder than it has to be me to wonder if anyone else can see that how we overcomplicate, what really just needs to be let go of doesn’t have to be hard, like you can recognize this is not working, it’s stressy it’s pressie, I don’t feel good, or right there, take a pause. However, I’m doing this right now feels terrible. I’m going to take a break, I’m going to give myself a break, or, you know that little voice is like, oh, maybe you don’t need 1984 steps here, which I am the first one to say, that’s totally how I used to do it too. I don’t even want to go back and look at those kinds of things because it’s, I’m sure cringe-worthy to me but probably to you, you’d be like, Oh no, don’t be so hard on yourself, you know how we are, we’re nice friends like that. But I mean, like, Wouldn’t it be amazing if we learned how to lay off the gas. In those moments where we feel the stress. We feel the stress, and no, no, don’t keep going you know like that voice is they’re saying, Stop, stop, they’re still turning, stop. Please stop. It’s all for the learning. It really is. Even these horrible Ickes that sometimes come upon us the heavy times where we feel we can feel so worked up sometimes they’re helpful. They teach us, you know, if we’re open. And I don’t mean to say like you’re not open, you’re not a good spiritual practice, because you’re not open. You can be defended you can be resistant and still be like hey, you know, I don’t want to feel like crap in my day, and it’s very possible for me to take it easy. When I catch it. Take it easy. Rest easy. Give my energy, my love, my heart
22:51
to where it feels supportive to supportive supportive period where it feels supportive kind. Take a rest, take a break, give yourself a pause. Don’t just keep going like some wild animal, running full speed, you know, waving your arms in the air. Slow it down, take big breaths. Put your hand on your high heart, or on your esophagus area, I have been really feeling this in my body, sort of, I don’t know is that my esophagus. Between your. Maybe it’s just right around the diaphragm heart chakra and your third chakra somewhere right in there there’s a really tender spot, and it can feel like I can’t catch my breath I can’t catch my air, but it is stressy Pressey, and I can lay a hand there go ahead and try it if you’re relating to me lay a hand there, this is the hand of love. This is the hand of healing. This is the hand of loving-kindness. This is the hand, giving me the blessing. Try it and see what you find. It’s the only way you’ll know. It seems like sometimes life is a series of making it hard on yourself, and then being with people who make it hard on themselves too. And so life feels really hard on you at the same time. Does that make sense. We go round and around with these challenging difficult things, doing versions of difficult dances with each other and evaluating our responses are. We’re just putting way too much energy into this thing, you know, life can be easy, because we decide to recognize where we’re suffering and struggling, where it’s so hard, where we’re making it hard though, you know I’m, I sometimes it’s like take responsibility for how you’re making this so hard boo, it’s you’re making it so hard on yourself, so difficult. Whether you’re recognizing it in yourself, or you are thinking of that person in your life who’s like this, doesn’t matter, because it’s really the same. How are we supposed to really offer the love that heals offer the love, offer the True Seeing instead of responding to the crazy coming straight for us. Does this make sense.
25:57
It’s, it can be really hard to step out of a dynamic of. I don’t know what else to call it a codependent dynamic with people. Like, you’re waking up, you’re recognizing things, the other person, maybe they are to. I now and then, number one, and I have these nice glimmers, these moments, they’re not glimmers they’re moments where we step to the side. We step to the side, like oh my god it’s happening right now isn’t it, and, and one of us can pull the other one out. It’s really amazing, but that’s not, I don’t think that’s the usual case, and so a lot of us here in the policy, it’s like we’re the ones carrying the flashlight. Like the way makers are the Wayshowers and then snap ego, to say that that’s not being full of yourself to say that that’s not being a No at all to say that it’s saying, you’re the one doing the work, you’re the one doing the study. You’re the one with the awareness, and you notice, and know and understand things that maybe the people who you have, you know, life with, or challenges with or situations with do not. And it’s such a common stuck place people ask about. We all have challenges of relationships, relationships, is the most challenging place we do our growth work. So, yeah, in my heart I feel like it’s so imperative that we heal our own codependent woundings the stuff, anything we have in our own history, about relationships and challenges. We, we have to do the healing and part of it is to realize if you’re the one with the awareness. A lot of times that means you’re out ahead. You’re going first you’re carrying the flashlight. That’s my shorthand, carrying the flashlight, and others. It’s, it seems like they’re behind you, but they’re, you know, they’re not, they’re just on a different journey, you might see things in a way that they don’t. But it’s not like we’re greater or better than. And at the same time there are greater levels of awareness we might be sitting with you get to a place where you really really want to do this awakening, and you want to help people in your life, instead of making them your adversary, set the word. You don’t want to be the one with the light with the awareness with the practice, the one who is remembering. What’s going on, if you don’t want to be the one carrying the flashlight, then you’re going to be the Cryptkeeper trying to keep yourself in the tune of, what is no longer serving you what no longer is real for you. Where are you finding with people in your life where you’re like what is going on, why are they, this and that and this and that. How can you not stay in that pattern with them and I mean you know the pattern, don’t you. Sometimes I call it ‘the tennis match’ how can you not stay in the tennis match and get yourself off the tennis court. This feels like a lot of Robin isms today but it works. So we’ll stick with that and know that they might not get where you’re coming from, because you’re carrying the flashlight. But I promise you. Miracles are born this way, you know, stick to what you know to be true in your heart. And, you know, hold the line with love, offer love extend love, and, you know, try and, yeah, I think, you know, try and defuse the challenge with space and kindness, but you can’t join in the in the dark places with people and hope to go free yourself. It just doesn’t work. It makes me think about how the Course of Miracles began in the first place that Helen Schucman who channeled the Course in Miracles and built that furred her boss. Apparently, they really had terrible fights at work, a lot. It was so bad, the workplace was a toxic environment, and you can look this story up yourself, check the show notes for a link to something there.
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But it’s a pretty talked about thing in the stories of how the book began. But they came together, you know, and said there has got to be a better way. There’s got to be a better way than this, because this thing is terrible for us. Let’s not do it, and look at the beautiful things that came through. After that, when we move through this energy of suckitude. I really really really love this word good things can come. We’ve got to be open, just because we might know a lot and experience a lot on this journey, have a lot of awakening. Don’t forget. Don’t forget to be open to the unknown, you know, sometimes we can be so sure about things that we’re actually closing, we’re in the crypt closing the door on ourselves, because we think we know but it was like that beautiful story. There has to be a better way. We’re open to another way, and the minute, it’s kind of like that prayer in the Bible. Wherever two or more are gathered in my name, there I will be also. It’s beautiful. We can open for miracles to come, and, yeah, you know, wow. Got to make space for that gotta allow space for that to happen. Okay, I want to work one more thing into this essay today about that podcast, I was mentioning earlier, reading the form, it had this section that said, if you have something that makes you stand out, then you want to share a thing you want to promote. You have a book if you have an album if you have some form of, I don’t know, you know, something to celebrate that you do, whatever, let us know, we want to promote it, this and that. And, honestly, if you have something like that, and it’s like your body of work and you, it was a labor of love, a men and awesome and wonderful, it is true, Wow, like, be so proud of that. It is an amazing thing. If you’ve worked hard on something and you want to share it, it’s beautiful, and oh my god, there are so many of us who have stories about what we have not achieved in our lives that, you know, I just want to say, some of us choose to not, and that’s okay too. You are not less than without a book. I am not less than without a book, or without a published without a record deal, you know, without a gallery showing without a. These are places that, you know, it might not even be intended to be anything other than supportive or just generally asking you the question because hi it’s a podcast and they wanna promote your stuff or whatever it is, but we can carry secrets secret shame about what we have not done in our lives, and if you relate to that, you know I just say to you for every time you feel the pain in your heart, you hold on to that with so much love and be the kindest friend, you can do yourself. You can be okay. I look at that kind of stuff, and it’s like, yeah, I’ve created an amazing legacy, that is, you know, helping myself out of really dark, dark place, and helping friends, do the same, and also their family and their friends because whole hearts. Don’t go on to break hearts don’t continue the cycle of breaking hearts, that’s my legacy. You know, it’s okay. If you haven’t put anything to your name.
35:24
Other than your amazing name. You got it, I just, I want to say that somewhere. And I’m so grateful I have a place to say it here because it’s gonna make me cry but you know being somebody who sits with amazing friends and listens to the stories of how we disparage our own progress because somehow we’re not Insta famous, etc, etc. Right, just a mom, just a this just to that. Stop. you know, let’s be in the unknown with it too. And instead of defending what I have not achieved, which I will, I you know I have lived through many levels of that in my own journey. I’m open to the adventure of what wants to come next, you know for sure. But any journey we embark on, just to not be a loser, you know, just to not be an unpublished person. I don’t know. You know what I’m saying, when we do it out of defensiveness, how is that going to work for us, because we’re folding that poop into the batter of whatever we’re trying to create. So, if the time is right for you. It will happen. And you’ll know by the delight in your heart, your excitement and your delight. And for anyone this feels relatable for. It’s a beautiful thing to practice, to stay present for our feelings, we might have feelings, but we can certainly practice, a prayer for ourselves or an affirmation of truth for ourselves. Like, you can be a witness to your feelings without defending yourself, or being defensive about how you’re feeling. But, usually for me, in all honesty I already noticed the feeling of feeling defended about, well, you know like, I didn’t write a book. I don’t have a book, and with it comes all the years I thought that was a necessary thing. And today, you know, like I say I’m open, but not really sure it’s necessary in the terms of like, what makes me a good successful helpful person in the world. I don’t I think about my legacy, for example, and I also, you know, really honor the truth of who I am, which is a very now moment person, and this is what’s here now this is where I am now, this is what I’m interested in now. And, yeah, my legacy. Whenever my claim to fame, I don’t know what we say, you know like what do you do with people who are like, So, what have you published. What have you performed wherever they know your work from. It can feel challenging, but only to the small self. And so the mantra the practice, I go back to is you know, I know who I am, in truth, I know what I am in truth, and I know how I serve, in truth, I am free. I am free. I am free. And that’s Paul sound like and the guides, and who we are as spirit is what counts. And I just find it a fascinating curious experience, because we’re always dancing with other levels of awareness and friends who are, you know fully expecting you to have a published book and fully in the story for themselves that if you don’t have one, it’s something, you know, I mean that’s going on everywhere that story in some form or another. And what really counts is what you know, isn’t it. That’s what matters. what you know in your heart to be true no matter what system you’re dealing with what you know about you to be true, and hold on to that. But it’s okay, maybe that the rest of the world might have a different perspective on what I’m saying. And maybe in your belly that that will feel a little different and weird, it does for me sometimes. But we can practice.
40:28
Yeah, being in our knowing I am in my knowing about this. I’m here for the joy of my day-to-day world, my life. I have a legacy that is not in visible form. I have a legacy that is not in physical form. I have a light, a flashlight, that is not in physical form. Remember that you are the Cryptkeeper or the flashlight keeper, it’s up to you. And just because one person wants to know these things doesn’t even matter or they wrote these directions it doesn’t even matter to go down that rabbit hole of explaining that to somebody who is expecting you to have one, a book, a CD, a million views, you know 10,000 page views, but you got to be interested and excited and lit up about things that you’re doing like that. If it’s not a natural joy, why are you going to do that to yourself? Yeah, no, don’t do it but I did think if there was a book I would write it would be on the codependent identity. Because I don’t even know what we would call that we need a much cooler name, but the stuff I witness us doing to ourselves and to other people, because we are not healing how screwed up, we became in our own dynamics. We became screwed up. And now it’s on us to make it right, to make it whole, to make it healed for ourselves. If we want, you know, if we want to be in that place of peace. That’s what’s required is for us to stop looking out at the world and demanding that it change and to look in the world of our own hearts, and understand what’s really going on. And that’s a practice, you know, yeah the codependent identity man, we’re going to have to spend some time on that, this just a little taster for today, I think, because sometimes it’s enough right there. When you’re going through your cycles of awakening and things feel so challenging. It’s better to just do a little bit, then a whole deep dive excavation. You don’t need an excavation. You need Gentle, gentle, you know, gentle, gentle. I think the crows dig it. Dig it. Beautiful, beautiful. I’ll leave us with this, It’s hard sometimes to suffer with our stories. I’ve had so many amazing clients in 20 plus years, all around the world, all different walks all different everything, and there is no higher, or better or more, you know, it’s the same. The struggle is the same. The energy is the same, the width for freedom is the same, you know, many of the stories are the same on their opinion might be different about the grass being greener. You know, it’s kind of an interesting realization. The way we go around, like thinking we’re not okay as we are and maybe having judgment about the way other people do it, and worry about how we’re not doing it and like I said, you know, published author or not. Are you still an awesome amazing person. Of course, the book has nothing to do with that, by the way, but it’s a beautiful, just like this is a whole opportunity for clarity on what you really want. And thinking of the Rumi poem, you must ask for what you really want. What do you really want. You must ask for what you really want. What do you really want my quick answer in this moment. I want to be me. I want you to be you, and I want us to be free, period. So, you know may that serve you today. I hope something in there, lit a spark for you and why don’t we have a letter and a sweet one here.
45:32
And friends, I love to read your letters, your messages. I love hearing from you. My email address is Hello at Robin hallett.com My, my handle on Instagram is at Robin Hallett, message me if you want me to read something here. Write to me, and, you know, all while I’m saying that I might as well say I love you to share this on. Share this with your friends. Dr. Robin, I wanted to start by thanking you for sharing so much of your life in your Instagram stories. It’s one thing to receive spiritual teachings from a wise woman, it’s another to observe them in their beingness throughout her day. I see now how you are constantly choosing joy, worrying less accepting more and are just alive. It’s been so powerful, so thank you for taking the time to share with us your beautiful wild and weird life. Incredible. In the last podcast episode you spoke about us being perfect, already we are perfect as we are. Tasmanian devil, and all our situations in life are perfect too. I want to believe and accept this truth so much. But every time I hear you say it, the bad girl story in me starts up. How am I perfect with these flies, how am I perfect if I yell at my kids. How is life perfect when the world feels so crazy sometimes. I really want to see this differently. So help me, please, to love everything as it already is to move myself right now in this moment, to not need anything to change or to tell my story of badness, for one second longer. Please help me see it differently. It is time. Thanks so much, I tried her you and our time together with the love posse, Amy. That was so beautiful. It’s like a healing in itself. Now sometimes you have to step back and admire your perfection. How beautiful it is out of this intensity of suffering that you’re describing and intensity of confusion and intensity of not knowing God is in the Tasmanian devil to God is there. You know, and my practice as a person on the journey is, if I see the darkness in you, if I’m like oh my god you’re yelling at your kids, you definitely are not perfect. The minute I do that, what have I done. You know I’ve slammed the door shut on my own heart. I see the light in you, my friend, and I see the light in me, and we are closer define, you know that song. Indigo Girls closer to fine every single day. We’re getting closer and learning that it’s fine right now is a huge thing, but it’s also powerful to realize we’re making progress and everything is progress. Yeah, I hope, I hope that’s how you feel in your most Tasmanian-like state, when you think about the journey. God is present. It’s all around and inside you, and so of course, it’s perfect and you’re perfect, and even your awareness of your imperfection, and your ego stories is perfect. I was talking about the codependent wounding the edges, we have and the way we suffer because of it, we make ourselves hurt in the process. It’s so good to recognize these things. And instead of developing another hack for getting shit done. You’re waking up right there you’re catching it, and you’re saying, Not my circus not my monkeys, you know, this is not my business. Take this off my plate. There’s light there are new moves happening. That’s beautiful, you know, and continue with that continue owning how you’re creating cycles of misery for yourself, the more courageously we can own how we create things like that,
50:31
the freer we get to, it’s, it’s so I’m doing this all the time you can back out, it’s okay. It’s uncomfortable, okay but we are floating in space with all the room you need, and you’re bringing this up because you want to be held in love, and you want to go beyond it. Sometimes I say to myself, soften up here because things are very tight. And we want to let some help in. I say to me, don’t you dare let yourself off the hook before you see I did it to myself, and I can decide that means I can undo it, I can decide otherwise in the Course of Miracles, you know, I must have decided wrongly because I’m not at peace. Your most important thing is to just step out, dump the plate, walk away. You know I have done this, I have put my hands up in the middle of something with number one, and said stop. I see. Stop it Stop stop stop. I may have one started winding something up, I may have had a part in how he is getting wound up in the moment, but I am always free to say stop, freeze frame. This is not what I wanted. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. You know, Friends, this is why our healing skills are helpful. We’re not memorizing these things trying to be a good monk or goddess or Yogini. You know that is preparing the personality, ego structure that’s not really what we’re doing anymore. We’re trying to be alive like Amy said, worrying less accepting more choosing joy. Being in our beingness throughout the day, being
52:47
authentically as authentic to our light as possible. And that means throughout the day there are kajillion little corrections being made. I have chosen, I mean, interesting tidbit, if you like, interesting Robin tidbits. I have figured out that a lot of people I love and adore that I feel close with them on a text to text with on a regular basis are not always in the space to communicate with me, and I have things I want to share, funny things that come to me and good stuff I’m doing, my longing for connection is there, and so I have figured out that stories are a way for me to encourage that part of me who wants to keep showing up but I was at the psychic thing or what, Friends, sounded like the horn have gone door calling to me. Yes, for bird but wasn’t that fun. I’ve learned that there is always a place for you to give and share your light. And if you choose to be somebody who’s looking for that you’ll find it, and this is why we pour our heart into our things that we love, you know, and people and friends but you know the recognition that some people are on the tennis court, and they only want you to hit the ball back exactly the way they hit it to you. Means we’re willing to let it be what it is, let it be. Let it be. Let it be, instead of going and dragging them, you know, like dragging them off the court, and then like pounding them with your, your experience of what they’re doing wrong and trying to talk them out of where they’re at. Why don’t do it, I mean that’s like adding half a day to your experience of suffering, that’s so I look at it, you know, so I come to the stories because that’s where I like, I love to share, I can share as many times as I want and have the conversations, I want to be having about the journey about healing, you know because I recognize in a way. I feel a little bit like a super freak you know unicorn on Gone Wild. In a good way, I love it so much, but I, but no, but I need to indulge that because it’s what I want to do. And so many things. I don’t want to do, I don’t want to do it. So many things and, you know, isn’t this what we’re doing here, the pain and the pleasure the agony and the ecstasy of being on a journey. Trying to be alive, trying to raise little humans to be alive, caring for people caring for you to caring for your day for your chores, I mean, for your things, and if you’re paying attention, everything sparks you to your practice. So, it is perfection that you scream at your children sometimes, because that’s the way the lights gonna get in, and your wobbles are someone else’s teacher, and them receiving an opportunity, I mean, I have seen it and heard it so many times, it’s the little kid who’s been screamed that who becomes the Buddha in the next moment, right, and offers the light and the healing and says the most profound things sometimes. So that too is perfection, and also the way you know you want it to be better.
57:14
How is life perfect when the world still so crazy sometimes, I really want to see this differently. So help me please. That’s perfect. You are not somebody going crazy with the world, even drag yourself through the mind going crazy with the world. Crazy. That’s perfection. You chose another way. You saw it. That is loving everything as it already is. That’s it. We’re going to need so many more of us holding the flashlight but also just knowing it’s perfect right now, we are waking up we are up-leveling as a world, and you know if you think it’s not fast enough that’s not your ident identic self, your authentic self. That’s not your God Self, it’s happening at the perfect speed. The last thing I’ll say is this, you know, small dips are much better than big, big nightmare nights of the soul. Smile dips. And so like a dip like imagine drawing a line and then dip down just a little bit and then keep going straight. Not that that’s ever how the journey goes but your mind will have small dips. I woke up this morning and I had a very small dip for some reason, recently I’ve been worrying about when I get old. There’s been a bit of a groove developing on how I’m going to be super alone, but that’s a small dip, and so this is why we develop little practices like, nope, with the kind of say the P or you put your finger on say hey because it’s a shiny object to a part of you that is trying to become perfect in a very suffering way. And it wants to eradicate every problem and make everything right and if you go with those dips those little dips, they will become full-blown major catastrophes, maybe only in your mind, but sometimes they turn into really full, massive blowouts. I’ve seen it happen really quick with me with clients. You know, Friends, I wonder if you’ve seen it happen with you. So we can even use that as a practice. Our intention is to stay in our center as much as we can and to be loving and kind, you know, isn’t that. I just want to take a breath now like we can be off the hook, about, I mean, not on the hook or off though, it’s off the hook this practice it’s off the hook. You know what I mean, we can let ourselves off the hook of the ego’s version of us needing to be perfect, and just think about how it’s always just a gentle coming back into alignment. It can be that. And that to guess what it is, guess what it is, it’s perfect. Yeah, so little, little dips, if all you can do is remember in the little dip. You put your finger out, you know or you do whatever works for you, you know, you are stopping the flow of what usually comes next. That means you’re going with God, via con DS meet a more, you know you’re going with God, rather than what has happened, most of the time before, which is to wrap ourselves in cloaks of suffering and struggle, and then work to make it real, and you don’t have to. You don’t have to. You don’t have to. The time I allowed to my cuckoo could you, I can choose an even if I don’t know how to stop the cuckoo could you because Wait who doesn’t have days like that, you know, at least we can know it’s a choice, and keep practicing, you know, like I said, clearing the plate, dropping it saying via Cumbias, please let me go with God, please help me, I don’t I want to see this differently I’m not at peace today. I’m carrying this upset, you know. Wow. I mean, again, perfection. That is what this practice is.
1:02:06
So with that, I say thank you very much for such a beautiful letter, you know, the last part reads like its own prayer. Seriously, wow, and I appreciate you giving us this chance to sit with these things. Well friends, I said I would read a poem before I hang up so I’m going to do that now. And this is a beautiful one from Rumi. The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you. Don’t go back to sleep. You must ask for what you really want. Don’t go back to sleep. People are going back and forth across the door sill where the two worlds touch the door is round and open. Don’t go back to sleep. And I tell you my interpretation is let things quiet down and arrive at your opportunity, receiving what you really want. So if you don’t want to miss the dawn brace, whatever that is for you. You got to go, you got to show, you got to be there. If you want to hear the secrets of the breeze at dawn, whatever that breeze at dawn means for you. You need to give your attention there. And don’t go back to sleep. Don’t pick up your phone again and breathe more into the drama of whatever was sent to you. Ask for what you really want, when you’re struggling when you’re suffering. How many times have you stopped yourself and said, How can I contribute to this game of tennis with you, person, What am I bringing to the Poopoo platter. What am I doing, you know, see what it is that you’re doing so you can really go for what you really want, what do you really want. I guarantee in your heart of hearts, it’s not to earn a million dollars or lose 20 pounds, or get your husband to listen to you. What you really want, at the deepest level will look a lot more like connection with your own heart, peace in your soul, goodwill toward others. People are going back and forth across the door cell, you know, we’re going in and out of awakening in and out of suffering in and out of upset, and remembering, I mean that’s what it is. But, you know, The door is round and open it’s like I was saying before the space is luscious there’s lots and lots of room. You can come through, again, it’s okay. There’s room. You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to be a certain way to enter a big space. It’s okay. Don’t go back to sleep, my friends. It’s so nice and lovely here with you, and I just thank you so much for spending this time with me, and thank you so much for your support. There’s a number of ways you can support this love, one is just apply anything that may have helped you apply it in your life, do the work. Receive it. Receive the love, let yourself off the hook. Of course, I love a review, or share it with your friends if you see me, You know, share a post, leave a comment, and you can make a donation, you want to send me some shekels for the coffee fund or the tea fund or the wine fund or the garden fund. I always appreciate and welcome that. My thrifting fund. Yeah. So thank you thank you thank you. This was a beautiful one, and I hope you loved it too. This has been me, Robin heart sparkler Hallett, I’m going to see you next time, or in a few minutes. Bye bye.