When we tell the broken stories, we remind ourselves that we’re broken.
The trouble with keeping that awareness going is that it continues to align us with the powerlessness we felt.
These energies need to clear if we want to proceed in our truth.
Releasing the drama patterns you’ve experienced is what will get you free.
In this episode, I talk about how we got here and how we can get out. I share some of my own stories and experiences working with this too.
Are you willing to be honest and truthful about where you are and what you need in order to be free, and to enjoy your life as you would like to?
Come grab a cuppa yum yum and meet me here:
Listen to this episode here or read the transcript (with timestamps) below.
🎧 Listen to Episode 141:
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https://robinhallett.libsyn.com/-episode-141-releasing-the-drama-patterns-youve-experienced
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Tea with Robin Podcast Show References
Related links for this episode:
Let all things be exactly as they are
It’s Ok If It Wasn’t Good, You Can Stop Pretending
Some people are best loved from afar
Go Where You’re Celebrated, Not Where You’re Tolerated
Say Thank You If You’re Ready to Leave
The Invitation, Oriah Mountain Dreamer
⭐A Course in Miracles Quotes:
Workbook Lesson 284 – I can elect to change all thoughts that hurt.
Workbook Lesson 325 – All things I think I see reflect ideas.
A Course in Miracles: Combined Volume
Every Book I have recommended on the podcast here
You might enjoy the Course in Miracles practices I offer here.
Thank you for listening, may it serve you!
Hugs and love,
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Tea with Robin Episode Unedited Transcript
0:01
Hello Beloved, it’s me, Robin. Robin Hallett intuitive healer and Light Sparkler at Robin hallett.com, and this is Tea with Robin. On today’s episode, the risk of staying where you are staying in the conflict, staying stuck in the drama, the risk of staying where you are, means maybe staying damaged, we tell the stories we remind ourselves, but can we elect to change our thoughts. Can we change our minds about what’s happening? And can we choose our freedom, even if it means it’s taking space, even if it means risking being honest, even if it means there will be pushback? Are you willing to be honest and truthful about where you are, and what you need in order to be free? To enjoy your life as you would like to? That’s what we’re going to talk about today is a big big topic. I’ve got some Robin stories to back at all. And I suggest you grab some yum yum. This is going to be a good one, and meet me here.
Well hello, gorgeous friend. It’s me, Robin. Welcome back to the podcast Tea with Robin. This is episode 141 141 All of the yumminess I mentioned here, in today’s episode can be found by going to the link below this podcast in the episode description. Robin Hallett com slash one four one.
Hello, friends, if it’s your first time listening, welcome. I’m so glad you’re here. This is a podcast about healing about doing the work, the real work. Because like maybe there are layers to that work there’s the work you start out doing on the journey. And then the deeper work which is getting to know yourself, and I hope that this is a place you feel comfortable and you’ll come back, even if sometimes, the stuff I talk about feels a little bit out of reach. Sometimes I get that feedback that people don’t always like, when I’m saying that it’s medicine that can be challenging sometimes but stick around, you know this is a place of love and a here Wow. Hi, friends in the posse were amazing. we’ve been writing together for years now, we’re doing our work, and it feels good to be us. We are a framily, as I like to say. So welcome back, friends, speaking to my framily here. Welcome back, welcome back. I hope that the week has been good to you that you’ve been good to the week that you’ve been good to your own heart and staying in a place of love and acceptance of where you’re at now. It’s been a bigger week, I will say, My goodness sessions this week, with friends, healing sessions, where there was a United theme. A theme that kept reemerging, and it was intense, and it was about family dynamics, and so I want to talk about that today when that happens. I feel like it’s, it’s important for us to talk about it today so God. Don’t you hate it, I had such a good title I had such a good phrase that came to me, sometimes I just, like, I left my last healing session, I went downstairs I made some tea, and I said to spirit, you know, just inspire me, what should I call this one because I wanted to call it family drama, but I kind of, sort of, do not like that term. And yet, it’s one we all know. So I had the perfect name and I was like repeating it back to myself, I have forgotten it. So let’s see. Let’s see if it comes back like the little Debbie’s last week, That was pretty good.
4:43
Let’s see if the thing comes back so there’s been some themes that I have been seeing really consistent, and I got to say, you know, who are we as a posse, who are we as this family. You are somebody I am somebody. You know there’s no one else like us, really, in our family, you might have peeps, you’re related to or cousins or whatever you’re who are like interested in some of the similar things like you, but you’re kind of the one your, your flag flies a little differently, and it’s been a hard one thing to love and appreciate that about yourself has on it. There have been some knocks there have been some drama some dilemma some situations. And here it is I just remembered the dynamic of you is what I wanted to talk about today, what is the dynamic that, you know, the common denominator, the dynamic that is so you that you keep repeating again and again and again, you know, that’s what I want to talk about today, I want to know this place in myself. I don’t want to be afraid of it. This dynamic where you you would go away from something with a family member or your loved, you know, your husband, your wife, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, whatever your partner, and you go away and go. It happened again here it is again, here it is again this thing that happens, and you go away. And it’s the same thing again. You know, I have certainly had my things. I mean, if you’ve been listening for a minute, you already know my, a lot of my stuff. Some of you I talked to you in a session after you’ve been listening long enough and it’s like holy crap. You know me, as well as I feel sometimes I know myself. So we have these dynamics, and we had if it’s been a heavier time for you this week if there’s been some drama going on in your family and your relationships with your friends. If you’ve been getting those repeat experiences. I want you to know you’re not alone. Yep, it’s a bigger time for a lot of us, so why don’t we cheers. And then I’m going to dive in. That’s what’s going to happen right now, I brought. I went down and I made some tea. I made some English breakfast tea just to have a cup really really hot, it is, it’s warming up outside, it’s been uncharacteristically cool here in Chicago. We’ve had about two weeks of rain. We have no rain this spring, you may know I usually tell the story how my yard is flooding and the ducks, come and live in my backyard while there’s a pond, within the of a pond we didn’t have the ducks, but now it’s raining, like, wow, so today’s the first like above 90-degree day, but here I am with my hot hot tea. I’ve got a full cup of ice, so we’ll see how this goes. Pardon my noises. Good, it’s, it’s looking good. So, here we go. I want to cheers to you. I don’t feel like you get it, I really don’t how beautiful you are, how amazing you are, how resilient you are, you know, I know stuff is heavy. I know it’s stressful. I know you’re anxious, at times, you know, I know sometimes you go to sleep at night, feeling like, WTF, and also thank God I can go to sleep now. Start the day over tomorrow. You know, I get it. I want you to know, You’re amazing, and you’re beautiful, and your potential energy is sparkling potential energy, you know, the light that you are, what it’s before it becomes anything manifest, potential energy, I don’t mean like you’re not living up to your potential. I mean, the potential energy. It’s beautiful. And I’m really praying today that we can have a new outcome with your stories about who you are in relation to other people in your life. Truly, truly, so this is a cheers to you. Hold on, I guess dirt because it’s so hot, and there’s ice cubes in it too. All right, there we go. I just spilled it all over my notes, but that’s okay, that’s rolled them out
9:43
to see you. You’re beautiful. And cheers to yourself love I hope it’s there, I hope it’s happening to.
9:57
Oh, that’s very tasty. I put some squeeze some lemon in there, and it tastes like lemon iced tea. Perfect. So, friends, it’s been a bigger week, I’m having all kinds of connections happening for me, and I gotta say, I’ve been crying a lot. I’ve been releasing a lot, and, you know, sometimes when you’re connecting dots in your history, you’re, you’re, you’re getting beef common denominator situations in your life common denominator, what do I mean by that we’re like, What’s one really big pattern that you experience, you know, something pretty common, is you don’t feel seen. You don’t feel understood, you don’t feel welcomed, or, you know the pattern has been that your, your feelings never seem to count or matter. You got to think about your own situation because you know yourself the best, you know. Yeah, you do. So over here, I’ve been working on some things too. And one of the things that has just been so liberating but also really really emotional, is understanding that it’s okay if people don’t like what I have to say, and what I’m offering. I feel like I finally got here, and it’s been extremely emotional. A lot of relief. So sometimes, like the other night. Jeff and I went out, we went downtown, number one, and I went to dinner, and it’s been a while since we’ve been out on a date night out, you know pandemic and all that, and I, you get used to not going, and then you want to go and it’s just weird, you know, it feels still feels weird for me to be out and about. And I think it’s okay to take your time if you relate to me it’s okay to take your time with this grand reopening energy that’s happening and you’re not bad or wrong, if you’re okay with it, and you’re not bad or wrong if you’re not okay with it. The big thing is to know yourself and know what’s working for you. And also I hope to do your best not judging other people for doing the same for themselves because it’s different than what you do for you. You know, this is where we get into trouble, if somebody else is doing it differently we judge that either we’re bad or they’re bad or we have opinions, you know, we’re all free. So there I was at the restaurant we went out to dinner, which was really nice to spend time together, I mean we spend a lot of time together we live together, and we’re alone together, so there’s a lot of time that is being spent together. It’s really sweet. Yeah I dig us, I dig my relationship so much because then, like right now I’m upstairs. Recording and working all day and Jeff is down in the basement number ones down in The Man Cave in the laboratory, excuse me, doing his thing, and we don’t talk, we don’t text all day long or anything we don’t talk, it’s like we both know, we are together but separate, I forget when I call that together alone at home, you know, and that’s and we respect that too so we’re not interrupting each other we’re honoring our privacy and our space and we get it that we each need time to focus and do our thing. So, but we went out to eat, I feel like I’m forgetting why we left, Why we went out in the first place but we went to this restaurant, and we walked up, and I just had that vibe. I didn’t like the table they sat us out. And do you get like this? I wonder if you already know what’s going on, I didn’t like it. I felt it instantly, like this is not the right table, and then, number one looks at me, and it’s like a thing. Do you have a thing in your family do you have a thing in your relationship, like the other person looks at you because they’re like, Oh she’s she’s so not gonna like this table but I’m sitting here. So then, maybe somebody says like a half-hearted like, I’m okay with it but if you’re not okay we can move, which is like the worst thing you can say to somebody, it’s, it’s like, it’s kind of like a codependent caretaker
14:56
and energy, and it just sets everything off, and nothing got set off that day because I just said, Let’s Move, I just have a feeling but what complicated it. And I find this a lot, it’s like the whole restaurant is empty, the entire restaurant is empty, and they sit you at the table, and then they put somebody at the table right next to you, and it is a weird thing before the pandemic began, it was weird to me why I know it’s better for the waitress but it’s not better for the customers. You know why pile us all together in the corner of the same spot, you know. Anyway, so I wanted to move because I like space, and it’s still a pandemic. You know there’s still strains going on. And we don’t need to be sitting there close. Plus, I knew it was gonna rain so we move, and of course it begins to rain, and I felt so vindicated you know how that is you feel so good like yes, but the bottom line is, it’s okay to move if you don’t like your table, and there’s nothing wrong with you, if you feel that way, and I feel super fortunate with number one we’ve worked on these things we’ve worked these things out but you might be in a newer space or a space where you know you’re with the people who actually say to you, why do you have to be so picky so difficult, it’s always a problem, or they roll their eyes at you, or near you. You know, I’ve heard some of these stories this week but I’ve also lived this experience many many many times where people tell you you’re so difficult, you’re so challenging. Why do you have to be so why can’t you just take it and like it. Why can’t you just like be okay with that and take it and like it and that’s like, yeah, just because you can’t be with it and take it and like it just because you don’t know how to honor yourself. You don’t have to shame me out of my experience, that’s one way I could say it right, like, Stop telling me how to be, because you can’t tolerate being that for yourself. It’s so true. So, we had a very nice experience. And it was fun being out, have a burger, just be with some be around some people walk around, I had an ice cream cone later. I loved the waitress. Jeff said, we were talking, and he said the waitress, she talks kind of her phrasing is so interesting. And I said, I totally get it. I feel really, like, I get I understand her well. And I said, I think she’s German, I have a feeling she’s German and sure enough, not only is she German, but she was about 30 minutes from where my family lives still today, so kind of cool, like, I got the dialect I got the phrasing. It’s so fun so I love those little experiences, and yeah, so, but I was saying I came home from there. And I’ve been painting in the garden, doing different things, creating, building, doing whatever I want just following this energy and I’m finding at the same time, there’s been a lot of release, so I was painting these, I call them my shed antlers, you know, I’ve talked to you about my sticks, my collection of sticks and how much I love doing my sticks and being in the flow and how many cool things happen. You know, like, because you’re busy having fun. How many beautiful things happen and get taken care of that you probably could never do in the span of shaming yourself and yelling at yourself and making a list and being a taskmaster, you know, being so hard on yourself, you wouldn’t get the same stuff done, but somehow it all miraculously gets done, even the laundry gets done, even the dishes get done. I, I’m still marveling at it.
19:23
So I was out painting, I have this old shed in the back. It’s just a white, just, it’s cool, it’s a white shed and about five or six years ago i i hung some old L brackets they’re big fat ones that like you buy to hang two of them together and wrap your garden hose on to soak container, but I put, put it up on the shed. I think there’s three there, and a bunch of branches over it and I call him the shed antlers. I grew up with hunting family back in the day and so we had antlers on the wall, I remember that and for some reason I like this idea of just wooden antlers so I’m painting them blue. It’s really beautiful this color of devotion I feel this deep, deep, indigo, kind of a blue or azure blue, it’s a blend I’m using different blues. But, I’m up there painting and crying like you can’t believe, and I am trying so hard not to judge myself. Really, but that part of me is they’re going, What is wrong with you, too, and what is wrong with you get it together girl you have, you have everything. What are you crying about, you know, but if you relate to me, let me ask you a question. Is that really your original voice Do you think. Do you really think that you’re your true voice, or do you think that’s a voice that you heard growing up at some point in your life. Do you think it’s the voice you heard, Or do you think that’s really your real self.
21:18
Now, I sit with people who have so much anxiety uncomfortableness discomfort. You know, like tension in their bodies because they cannot seem to be themselves, to include themselves to express themselves to think of themselves. They can’t accept how it’s feeling. They don’t know how to do it. You know, they don’t know what it means. And if you grew up in that space where you were, subtly, or not so subtly corrected made fun of shamed, you know, if you had a parent who when you express your dis, anything about anything, the parent made it all about themselves. You always do this, why can’t you just eat it and be happy.
22:40
I think I think about, you know and I bless our parents you know life is hard enough, listen. It’s hard enough, I have made. I, I have made so many mistakes, too. You know, in my relationships for sure. So it’s not really about like being victimized, or feeling guilty as your, if you’re a mom or dad listening to this with your own kids and you know it’s such a tricky thing because you might think you can’t really acknowledge how that was for you growing up because then you’ll have to acknowledge how it was for you as the parent of the kids. Listen, you just get to have your experience. Don’t do that to yourself, you just get to have your experience. So, you know, my common denominator experience is one of feeling rejected for being myself, and this week has been a big week of that I’ve been getting a ton of pushback. In some ways, and I know I say it that way. And, but that’s how it feels, where people, you know seem to say and they’re saying it out loud like the clear words pushing back. I didn’t like that message. I don’t come here for that, I don’t. I need you to be my loving soft spirit mama. This is not what I need today, you know, This kind of pushing back, and people who get mad at you because you’re telling the truth. Does that ever ever ever happen to you. I think about it last week. That episode was so good in my opinion. Let all things be exactly as they are, 140 was so freakin good. I was talking about how parents do not always want to spend time with their kids, you know what they want the most on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day and their birthday, to be left alone to go do what they want to do, to have a day off. And I mean, not just that day. You know what I mean, if you’re being honest. You’re being truthful. You might find some uncomfortable truths there but they still are true for you, and maybe the people in your life aren’t gonna like it. But you know, how are we going to get through this, this experience of suffering. If we can’t rack our truth, our honest experience is not going to shift. You know the risk of not taking risks, is that you will stay where you are. And that means for some of us, I won’t say for all of us, you’ll stay damaged. You’ll stay in your damaged stories. I, you know, I feel like I was damaged. As a kid, I was I was harmed in a way that will never go away. Doesn’t mean I’m not in full possession of my faculties or whatever, you know, I’m together and, you know, I’m awesome at what I do in helping other people who also feel they’ve been damaged, growing up, you know for me I feel it’s a very powerful thing to say it happened. And there are stories, I just cannot tell. Like, I feel like they would have such a trigger warning, like I can’t tell you the stories, and I don’t want to. It’s my business, you know, but one story I’ve been thinking about in particular the screen because I got to tell you one story. And I’ve talked about this one a little bit before, but I got beat up in seventh grade I got beat up in seventh grade, and the details are less important than you think. But I will say to you I had a part in how it got started, I played a part in that. I willing or unwilling or winning, I had a part in it. And I didn’t realize at the time that I, in trying to be the cool one or the pop, or the friend, just to get some friends to like me they dared me to do something that created a whole can of whoop ass that came out on me. In the end, and I’m, I’m just, you know, I really want to own my part and things.
27:39
It is not healthy for me to be the victim. And to tell a story in a one sided way is really what that sounds like to me. So, you know, consequences happened because of my actions, too, and for other people, but one of them was that I got beat up. So the situation had played out for probably a month at school and after school, you know parents think about this if you have a kid who has volatile stuff going on. Volatile children. Yes, wildly creative children. Yes, wildly outspoken children. Yes, you probably know,
28:29
the day it all came to a head. The girl that it happened with God on my bus took the bus home, just picture it. Scared 12 years old, not really fully cognizant of your own power and the kind of stuff you can do. And somebody, the scary badass is following you home, getting waiting at your bus stop getting on your bus. Oh my god. You know, it’s amazing, but I’m just, I’m kind of also chuckling because I had so much power I did so many amazing things and big things and courageous things that, you know, I didn’t know what was gonna happen, so she gets on the bus, I realize she is on the bus, she is on the bus for me, you know, like that, and I get home, I run home. You run and walk. Because you’re trying to save face. So I’m running and walking home, and I go inside, and my mom is home. She’s working part time, and she happens to be home and I’m like, I kind of remember it like running up the stairs, there was like a duplex so the first floor where you entered had the garage, and just a staircase up and a little like a table where you put your bookbag and your take your shoes up, run upstairs, help, help, rare for Robin ever, to ask for help, even at that age, already it was too, you know like too many things that happened in the name of asking for help. So it was like this had to be dire for me to be screaming help running upstairs. And it wasn’t just the girl, it was the girl and to have her. You know the feeling is like they’re coming for you, you know, it was scary, so I’m like, Help me Help me Help me and my mom says, I am so sick of this shift. Let’s go. And I was like, Oh my God, my mom’s gonna bring out the world bath. So I’m going down the stairs behind my mother, and just feeling this feeling of like somebody is gonna save me like take care of me finally something. And she grabs some part of my clothing I don’t remember what, and she says, I am so sick of this shit you to work it out, she pushes me up. She slams the door she locks the door. Don’t come back till this is done, and like before I know it. The girl is sitting on top of me and the rest happens. And here’s the thing. I have worked this story, so I mean I am 52 years old. I came to therapy. As an adult, in my mid 20s So I want you to know I have really worked the story. I have worked on this, a ton, and I’ve worked on it with friends who’ve helped, helped me and listen to me and I’ve written about it a little bit. There’s a post I wrote about five years ago saying it’s okay if it wasn’t good you can stop pretending. And again, I’ll link all of this up for you because I know so many of you, this is up for you right now and this is why I’m telling you this story. This is up for you right now and I really, this is the only way I know to help support is to share a story, and talk about it some, you know. Yeah, you know you’re gonna feel so betrayed and abandoned by people, and you have some choices before you and one is that you can be resilient. You can do your work around this if you have a story similar, a big one a little one something that just jarred loose for you while you’re listening to me. It’s okay. You know it’s you could start small today and write it down, I’ve got my whole stack of post it notes here.
32:59
You could just take a post it note and write down the story, and maybe today for today. That’ll be enough, and stay present with your story stay present with what happened. Let yourself be a loving witness to what happened to you, without shutting it down so quickly that the only thing you can do is be feel sorry for yourself, for the rest of your life and be the victim. And I say that I feel I have permission because I did them for a long time. So I feel totally comfortable saying now, so sometimes when I say that to other people when I mean I’m not this harsh or blunt, I hope, but sometimes I probably am, and I get the pushback and people get mad at me. That’s hard. That’s a hard place to be because you know when you’re upset, think about it, you’re not always the most eloquent, or thoughtful or caring. Right. You may not think about all the years, or all the tears or all the, all the nice things you’re, whoever it is, I’m talking about me here, your friend Robin has done for you, or helped you through in this moment, it’s just, intense, and you don’t like her very much, and your manager, you know. So these things are. This has been my intense week where there has been some of that pushback and people mad at me and all I know is we got to stay in the flow, gotta stay in the appreciation of ourselves and keep trusting and what’s coming forth and make sure you’re releasing, too. That’s why Hi, sometimes I am crying. And you need a lot of quiet space for yourself to do that work, because a lot of people around you will be very triggered by how upset you are, or emotional or if you say I don’t want to get together or you push back. Some because No, I’m not going to be treated like shit here. Again, I’m not going to get beat up again I’m not going to get spit on again. No way. I’m going to have my own back. And you know it’s okay to let some things go it’s okay to get some distance sometimes from relationships that are flowing that way to not repeat the crazy as it was done to you. It’s okay to take some space. It’s okay to name it very honestly, you can talk about. Have you ever thought. So many of you wrote to me this week about your adult children and what a hard time you’re having with your adult children listen.
36:01
Oh my god, adult children are some of the hardest children to have. Right, very difficult, and you are one so you know, I am one so I know. It’s a thankless job being a parent. In so many ways, in so many decades in every decade in so many ways, and I know so many of you will say to me I didn’t want to have kids, Because why I saw what was going down as a kid myself. This was not a family. This was not a feeling of connection, you know, why would I do it again but then some of us did it, and some of us didn’t do it, and we realize life still brings us what we need to do our healing work, doesn’t it. So adult children are a pain in the ass, I’ll say it, but we, and we are adult children, and we are a pain in the ass sometimes that’s what I’m trying to say, it’s not all about your mother or your father and how sucky. They were. If you do that, that’s what I’m saying. The risk of staying where you are means you’re going to stay damaged. That’s the danger. It’s very disempowering. You know, you tell the story. And you remind yourself again how disempowered you are how harmed you’ve been. And me too. You know, I’m really working on this right now in my life, and this is why I study the Course of Miracles, the A Course in Miracles, I have to, for my own sanity. I have to take a lot of breaks. I have to take a lot of pauses. You know, I tell, I’m really having to tell my close friends, I cannot talk, I’m not talking on the phone, I don’t have time, I don’t need the bandwidth, I’m trying to find the phrases that do not disempower me at the same time, it’s sometimes, you just feel like you’re walking on a tightrope. Trying to honor your own way your own light, and not because you don’t, because you don’t want to be upset, but you also want to help yourself heal. Right. I really hope this is resonating for you today. You know, this is not an easy topic. So as I go to My Course in Miracles practice. The other day I was really working. The one about, I can elect to change all thoughts that hurt. I can elect to change all thoughts that hurt, and today, looking at where did it go here, screenshots, there it is. I posted this one today so I’m trying to find the picture of the lesson because I do get like this, when you’re learning a new thing, I mean it could be any anything philosophy Shakespeare stuff you love the Bible, you know, Harry Potter, there’s so much wisdom everywhere and when you’re on a track of healing, do you notice this the messages come from all over the place. But do you find this is what I’m finding, it’s hard to remember. And that’s why you need a note with you or refresher you need some way to stay present with what is going on, right. I cannot for the life of me, say the lesson to you right now other than there is the word insane and that I do remember that
40:00
so funny how that happens. I hope you know what I’m saying. So this lesson, said, All things, I think I see reflect ideas. It’s less than 325, all things. I think I see reflect ideas, and it’s kind of saying like, You know what, what we’re seeing. It reflects a process in our mind so let’s say like you’re seeing that somebody is in your family, your partner’s not being nice to you, or not being understanding or your, your kid or your step child your stepdaughter is being rude or entitled or whatever, you know, these things happen in about 10 seconds, right, the whole thing has happened it’s played itself out and you’re just in the energy. So find your example, but what all things I think I see reflect ideas, so it’s kind of saying like you know what I’m seeing in you is a reflection of the ideas, I’m already thinking about, so like so and so never has my back or people always push back, they don’t like these lessons when it comes to self responsibility. They want somebody to keep patting them on the back and feeling sorry for them with them about their experience, and there is a place for that, I promise. Believe me, I know for a fact some people are listening to me they’re they’re like she’s never heard on me she’s always encouraging me to cry and Bill my feelings. Yes because you haven’t done that yet, we got to do that first you got to get to that place first, where you have your emotions and you have your experience and you have your feelings. And then, if you get stuck there, if you’re in the spin cycle and the washing machine has not kicked into the next phase. That’s when I have, I have the supreme honor of talking to you about leaving that space. Yeah. Because staying where you are, means risking staying damaged by your own story. You know what I mean. So I love this lesson, because it’s kind of like what I see reflects a process in my mind. And it always starts with the idea of what I want. And from there, my mind makes up an image of the thing, the mind, desires, it thinks it’s valuable, and therefore it sets out to find it so let’s say you feel like. And I encourage you if this resonates to look up this lesson, you probably have a copy of the course around if you don’t, it’ll be linked in the show notes you can show notes, you can look it up online but it’s talking about things like what is your saying, you know, what’s your common denominator issue is so that people don’t get you, or you you would love to break out and do something different with your, what you’re doing but you’re too scared, you know, to to try it or you really want to have that heart to heart with your dad about this pattern that keeps happening, but you never say anything, you know, I saw a note, the other day from somebody that said, you know, I haven’t spoken to my dad in 10 years and I regret it every single day. And I’m like, call your dad. That’s it, send them a letter, give them a phone call, just start from here, to simply say, I have not spoken to you in 10 years, and I’m calling today, or just I’m calling. Hello. I would really like to have a conversation, you know, take a step, just take a step. You can do it, but the mind. Like, It’s a wild place to be. Because what’s going on out there in the world it’s really reflecting the process already happening in my mind. And it all begins with the idea of what I want. Now, you may not say you want to be on off talks with your dad for 10 years off talks, I don’t know where I got that brace, but I’ve been saying it forever off doc. We’ve been on off talks, we’re not talking. We haven’t spoken in 10 years. This is the kind of thing that kills both of you energetically. People will say to me it’s killing me. Yes, so make a move.
45:06
From there, the mind makes up an image of the thing the mind desires. judges valuable and therefore seeks to find, so it’s not that, you know what you really really want is to be at peace, and in a loving relationship again, you know, just to function as yourself, and to connect and to appreciate each other and not be in the dysfunction that whatever led to this thing just to clear the air and be honest. Honesty is such a healing skill. Just be honest it elevates everything to the higher level energetically, just to be honest. But the what the mind desires, oftentimes is evidence, and further evidence of why we’re not speaking And also evidence of how you didn’t do anything wrong. You’re not to blame, or you’re feeling so guilty that you’re, you’re spending a lot of time going over all the things you do do the stuff you do do, sometimes people will say to me, you know, I, one common thing that happens between two people is one person will say, I did not. I don’t know, like I felt really let down by this thing you did and then the other person in defense will say so. So I never do anything good for you, right, is that what you’re saying I never do anything good, I never do anything good for you right. It’s like, no, that’s not what I said, you know, but that pattern is there. So the mind is kind of expecting some of that already. And it creates situations that are perfect, and you don’t always even know because this is so energetic. Have you ever had it where you walk into the room with the person you struggle with the most, and you’re just all kinds of triggered, and there have been no words spoken. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, the thing with the lesson is, it’s really like you are not innocent. In the way you think you are you actually are innocent, because you’re a child of God, you’re spark of the divine. You’ve never been bad or wrong, but I mean in these situations involving your ego and the other person’s ego. There’s no one innocent party, everybody is playing a role here. And if we want to stop doing that we have to unwind our mind. We have to unwind our mind, because we have a stake in this. We have a part in this we are playing a part in this. And I guess I’m saying there’s no way browband could be the bad one, Or the main one. And there’s no possible reason for it. You know,
48:27
I really dig this lesson, as it’s talking about you know your mind conjures images. Your mind conjures up stories, it’s telling it’s a little version of events, it’s anxious about having to see the person, right, it’s anxious about having to get together, it’s already conjuring up memories about the last time and what happened and right, you have been here, I’m sure those upsetting thoughts are like wishes. This is how we manifest things, you know, this is where we place our focus. These are seeds we’re planting, even though you don’t want that to happen. Thinking about it kind of gets the ball rolling. And so, your mind is conjuring images all the time. You know, I talked about this last week, your mind is playing events over and over and over all the time, right, it’s playing events out, and the people aren’t even there, you’re answering, you’re coming, you’re offering comebacks to people and they’re not even talking to you right, They’re not even in the same city as you are there might not even be in the same country, and you’re having comebacks about what they’re saying to you. That’s the mind conjuring. And these images that the mind is doing, we project them out. We put them like we stick them on other people, and we say, that’s out there that’s you. And now we can look at them and other people look at the person in your life and say see, that’s it. You know, once in a while always and they all they always say that they never compliment my jello salad. Never say thank you. They never say they never think to, you know, this is a story a lot of us have and especially in blended families. It’s super intense. I mean it’s intense everywhere who am I kidding, but it’s super intense. Because, well, I’m not gonna get into the whole thing because plausible deniability, but, um, you’ve got your own jam going on, don’t you. So we project these images out that are in our heads. We look at the other person and we’re like, see, look at it, and then we say it’s real. It’s real. But this line I love so much from insane wishes comes in insane world. You know our mind is making wishes, and they are insane. Have you heard your mind lately, you know, yeah, the fears, the worries. You know, this is freedom. What I’m talking about today is freedom, but if I could tell you how many people will thumbs this down and complain to me. I don’t know, I can’t I can’t help but, you know, all I can say is you can get free, you can get free.
51:49
You can get free and you can practice with me, because I’m really struggling right now, I’m really struggling right now, I am. And that’s, this is where I go, and I practice from insane wishes comes in insane world from judgment comes a world that’s been condemned and from forgiving, thoughts, a gentle world comes forth with mercy for the Holy Child of God, to offer him a kindly home where he can rest a little while before he journeys on and help his brothers walk ahead with him and find the way to heaven and to God. Boy, I still really can’t stand this language, you know, but, um, I, it’s good, you can you can convert it as you need to friends, hell or heaven peace or struggle, it’s up to us. So I would suggest, anywhere you are having some problems right now, some heavies, Some not feeling accepted, some not feeling loved to being on the, you know friends will say we run the struggle bus today, you know, watch how much you align with your upset and affirm who you are through that. It’s dangerous. It’s risky. I like it. There’s a chipmunk outside chirping really loudly right now. It’s risky to do that.
53:36
And as it comes to the really challenging the people who for what ever reason are so triggering for you are so challenging for you, here’s what I recommend. I mean, even if it’s your child or your mother or your father, you know, or your spouse, I mean, I’m saying I’m naming people that are like, you just normally feel you don’t have any options with these people, you do. Sometimes it means walking away for our time taking some space. Sometimes it means walking away, taking some space, saying, you know, I do not have the bandwidth right now, I’m going through some things. You know, I can’t get together and be willing to let them have their own experience with. You’re not letting anybody do anything but I’m saying you know in your mind you get scared and you don’t say these things because you don’t even want the response. This is all in imagination at this point because you haven’t done anything. So, practice. If there are bumps that happen, maybe there’ll be productive, bumps, good things will come out of this, you’ll have a refreshingly honest conversation and yeah you might hear some things you don’t want to hear about yourself. But in the name of healing, you know, and ease and peace and all the things we say we want, you know, I mean, are you on this journey just to manifest amazing things like a car and a bunch of money puke puke. If you ask me. I’m here. You know, I’m not here for that. I’ll just say that I’m not here for that. So I’ve written some really great posts if this is resonating. I’m going to put them in the link, but thank you. Say thank you if you’re ready to leave. If you just want to Google these, or the other one is some people are best loved from afar, and also that one I mentioned before, which was. It’s okay if it wasn’t good you can stop pretending, these have been really big for people this week I’m hearing, and that’s good. That should be we need to be productive with some of this energy needs to clear, and I always recommend to you. The work of Paul Selleck. The guides, very powerful, and people ask me which books you know Paul recommends the guides recommend you start at the beginning, I am the word, but I often feel the Book of Truth, the book of knowing, powerful, but, trust your gut. You don’t have to follow all the rules, you know. So, if you want to do some higher level power house work, start asking yourself, How am I participating in this dynamic. And what makes it challenging to be around me. Like how is it that I’m doing moves that makes it hard to be around me because you know like when we’re going all the way back to the restaurant scenario I just shared at the beginning of this episode you if you don’t speak up, you know you might fall into lots of behaviors that are extremely annoying to other people. Right, just think of somebody who’s extremely annoying to be with, and you get, and then you get it, but that’s you too, sometimes. And I really dig the people who get that and know it and can own it, you know, so if you’re struggling with people, and you want to do this work. And, you know, how am I participating. What makes it hard to be around me, you know, how do you want to be here in your life. Do you want to spend your days feeling sorry for yourself feeling like a victim. Do you want to spend your days being anxious and angry. Do you want to spend your day saying what’s the point. A lot of us are in that place of what’s the point is part of the awakening journey is that we realize like, I don’t even get why we come here to Earth and do all this.
58:24
That’s part of the journey. If you get my newsletters, the happy mail. I wrote about that a couple weeks ago I told this great story about me too I was having that day and, you know, I’m trying to be there for myself but it all seems so pointless. And the funniest little series of events happened and it just reminded me, again, that y’all need to know what the frickin point is my friend, that’s the ego asking, by the way, just be alive. You’re alive, be alive being your likeness. You don’t have to go out and do good works to make yourself feel useful in the day, choose to be in your alignments, what do you love in about this time now, you know, how are you wanting, how are you being here today, are you pouting. Are you down. Are you old and feeble and broke. Be stories, they are like poison
59:33
and how freeing it is to hear from some of you this week I gotta say big thank you. Sometimes, I, you know, as the helper. I don’t always get. It’s not always right to say how much I appreciate how refreshing it is to hear you accept responsibility for your role in your life, it is so freeing and so freaking amazing. So I can say it on, I told myself this week, I can say it on the podcast, I’m so proud of you. I want to talk to you. I want to be with you. I want to listen. It’s so inspiring. Saturday. I had a session with a friend. In the morning, that was like that and it was so juicy good.
1:00:24
It was so juicy good because instead of talking about how everybody else sucks. We talked about how we participate in bringing the suckiness to our experience, and it was so freeing to realize, it takes time to get there. We’ve been working together. Some of us for like a decade or more, you know, some of us for a year, it takes time. You know, one session is maybe not going to get to there but, you know, ongoing walking together over time, and it doesn’t even have to be a lot, it could be monthly, you’re having these conversations and you’re doing your work, and you’re processing the bigger things. And it’s beautiful. And if that’s you, too. Well done, my friend. Well done. How do you want to be here.
1:01:21
And, you know, the last thing I’ll say, and I promise it’ll be the last thing, but if you’re feeling the pain of being yourself. I think that’s where I met these days the deep pain of being myself. And really getting that not a lot of people get you in your family I’m saying in your circles, whatever, there’s pain to be had, you know, there are other places where you’re totally free to be gotten, you know, and I think it’s important to realize like, in my case, all life is a mother to me there are many many friends in the posse who are moms to me who tell me, you know, they’ll tell me that. Or we just sit in the space of mothering together you know your family can be such a support to you.
1:02:28
So, it’s important to sit with the pain of being yourself for sure. And if you get it you get it. Realizing that yearning to just be honest just be you just be free to say, I don’t always want. Or, I don’t feel anything. I know I don’t feel a connection with this person who really really wants to be my friend. It’s boring. I don’t want to talk to them anymore. It’s painful sometimes to realize these things. It’s okay, you know, I hope that you can sit with your own heart and love yourself. That’s the first step, acceptance, and maybe do what I, if that rings true for you do what I do, you know, your version of that go out and paint some sticks on your shed and cry. Let it out, put some music on and help yourself move the energy, because you know like, how long do you want to stay here in your story of being damaged. 10 years, five years.
1:03:45
I, you know, there’s never any wasted time. By, it takes as long as it takes. And if you want to fast track your journey because you just don’t want to suffer, then you got to start to look at yourself in this, all of these things I’m telling you today, so I’m gonna leave it there today. I’d love to hear if this resonated for you I’d love you to write me a message and share some of that. I’ll read those here and we’ll have a discussion, so write to me. Hello at Robin Hallett Comm, or you can message me on instagram or facebook and share your experience. You know I really, I want to help us get to the place we say we want to be, and we’re worthy of that my friend, we’re so worthy of that. Yes. So thank you thank you thank you. It’s such a pleasure to talk to you about the process of learning to accept yourself and approve of yourself, to love yourself to know yourself, to know. In the poem The invitation when Araya mountain dreamer says, Do you like the company you keep. When you’re alone. Do you like the company you keep. I say yes I do, yes I do. I like it. So that’s me for today. I hope this has helped you and if it has, I would so appreciate that you share the sun, share, share with the friend post it to your stories forward the email however it is and let someone else know because. Isn’t it the truth, these are the things we suffer in silence. We don’t take to Facebook to talk about this out loud, do we, it’s hard. And you always assume you’re the only one. So please share the song, and I always welcome your support in the form of a donation, or a review for the podcast. Five stars right that’s my vote five stars, and an amazing review. Alright, beloved, I’m gonna go, it is Saturday, go play in the garden. Fourth of July weekend, declaring our independence from whenever we want to be free of this has been me Robin Hart sparkler halat, and I’m gonna see you next week, or in a few minutes, If you’d like to binge listen. Bye bye.