Have you ever had a big reaction to something (or someone) and then you spend hours and sometimes days being upset?
I call this the reaction distraction. When our own upset reaction ends up distracting us from the light and the truth and the love always present in the now.
In this episode, I explore how to stop overreacting to the stuff we do not want to be upset about. Listen to this episode here or read the post below.
🎧 Listen to Episode 73: Reaction Distraction, Doing Things Differently, #otherpeoplesproblems
Abridged session notes, including timestamps, plus all links, quotes, books, and movies mentioned below 
If you’d like to read the full transcript, click here.
Click here to jump to the show references mentioned in this episode.
This episode is also available wherever you enjoy podcasts or downloadable here:
This week, on Tea with Robin, reaction distraction. When we react (or overreact) to something or someone else and end up being distracted by the upset, sometimes for days. Here’s how to change how we react to things. This week’s inspiration offers tangible tips on how to handle situations differently, how to stop needing to “overcome” our problems and be free. Our letter comes from a friend who’s bothered by a coworker’s behavior and wonders how she can resolve the situation. Come grab a cuppa yum yum and meet me here.
My notes from this show:
0:00 Welcome back to the podcast, welcome to episode 73
2:00 Always my prayer is you’re remembering who you truly are. It’s no joke to say you are the light, you are a spark of the Divine and you are powerful beyond measure. And it’s up to you whether you choose that or not.
4:05 Intro to today’s topic, reaction distraction, we can get so sucket into things that we become distracted from the light and beauty here and now. We can get so sucked away by our upset that we are no longer tending to the things we say we want to be going for on this journey.
6:41 Share a story that reflects this principle – our canceled flights and the general upset on the plane
9:30 We decide we’re going to be in the flow as this is the journey of being in our hearts and understanding that we create what we focus on and we get what we think about. We are God in a body and whatever we decide to put our energy towards, that creation aspect comes with us and creates more. Good or chaos. Light or dark, we are calling more toward us.
11:44 the only help really available to us is in a place of light. The guidance and reflection that could help us comes from an expansive place, not the shut down one where we are railing on with our upset. We always are okay, we always are in the flow. Whether we ride with that knowing or not is up to us.
13:30 I feel as someone on the journey with limitless choices in terms of how I feel think, and act, I choose to be in a space of joy and appreciation and remembering other people too… not just railing on about me and my own petty upsets. I want to be in a space of remembering you and I are one, rather than thinking I am the only one who matters here. It’s a really painful thing to witness when you’re on the other end of it – when someone treats us like we don’t matter, right?
17:00 The Ego has a plan to seek solutions but never find them. And it’s really doing that to get you into a state of upset but never come out again. And as a Light Sparkler, it’s our job to practice not doing this. Even though we have a right to our upset. If you pay attention you will see the revolving door of your ego, it will keep trying to tempt you into upset.
21:00 We need to keep in mind that we are always creating more of what we focus on. When we notice how terrible things are, we will continue to notice more and more things which seem terrible. And the more terrible it becomes, the worse we feel. So what choice do we really have but to practice? Set me free, ease my mind… that’s what we say to let this go and get into our miracle mindset.
24:00 The judgments we have are what’s really making us crazy. When you can’t stand your coworkers, for example, it’s not them bothering you, it’s your judgment and interpretation of what it means. And then the story spilling out of your head is not a good one.
26:30 Self-discovery is where it’s at. When you ask the question, why is this bothering me? You may find answers connected in your history.
29:30 This week’s inspiration: Doing things differently
29:39 Inspiration: If you do the same things you always do, you get the same things you always got. What would it be like to decide you will try something different? Because, if you’re not happy with the results of how your life is going, it is going to take a shift. I discuss approaches to this.
33:00 This week’s letter: #otherpeoplesproblems
33:00 This week’s letter. About an upsetting coworker.
40:00 When we’re so upset about another person, it’s like we keep pulling that upset up – these people are on our minds and hearts and it’s like a file we keep pulling up in our personal database. So we need to be willing to surrender the upset up.
44:00 We are all in this together! Riding together and strengthening one another. We can do this!
Announcements this week:
If this episode has been helpful, I’d appreciate you sharing this with anyone it may help. Click the share buttons above or below, or always I appreciate a review on iTunes
If I can read your letter and shine a little light for you, or you have a follow-up topic for a future episode write to me here.
To support the podcast, consider making a donation here.
Tea with Robin Podcast Show References
A Course in Miracles Quotes:
“Trust not your good intentions. 2 They are not enough. 3 But trust implicitly your willingness, whatever else may enter. 4 Concentrate only on this, and be not disturbed that shadows surround it.” — T-18.IV.2.
“What would You have me do?
Where would You have me go?
What would You have me say, and to whom?” — WKBK. Lesson 71
“When your mood tells you that you have chosen wrongly, and this is so whenever you are not joyous, then know this need not be. 3 In every case, you have thought wrongly about some brother God created, and are perceiving images your ego makes in a darkened glass.” — T -4.IV.2.
You might enjoy the Course in Miracles practices I offer here.
Related links for this episode:
“The first principle of practical Stoicism is this: we don’t react to events; we react to our judgments about them, and the judgments are up to us.”
― Ward Farnsworth, The Practicing Stoic: A Philosophical User’s Manual
Robin’s Self-care Skincare Routine
Books mentioned in this episode:
A Course in Miracles: Combined Volume
You might enjoy the Course in Miracles practices I offer here.
Movies mentioned in this episode:
Thank you for listening, may it serve you!
Hugs and love,
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Tea with Robin Episode Unedited Transcript
0:00
Hello, beloved, it’s me Robin Robin Hallett intuitive healer and Light Sparkler app Robin Hallett calm and this is Tea with Robin on today’s episode, reaction distraction. You ever had that thing where you get so upset and you’re so reactionary and then you realize you lost the whole day be upset. Yeah, that’s the reaction distraction. We’re going to talk about that plus doing things differently and we’ll have a letter from hashtag other people’s problems. Do they ever bother us or what?
0:37
All this and more come grab a cup of yum yum and meet me. Here. Hello beautiful friend. It is me Robin.
0:50
Robin, of the heart sparkling Awesomesauce your friend on the journity
1:00
Okay, I love that. I am your friend on the journity, the journey of eternity. Hello, it’s me. Welcome back to the podcast. Welcome to Episode 73. And if you’re here for the first time, Hi, this is me, Robin, and thanks for being here. I know you could be listening to a lot of other things right now. And I’m so glad you decided to give this a horrible. Thanks for being here.
1:35
So, my friend, how are you today? How are you doing? How’s the day going?
1:42
and How is the weather in your heart? Hope it’s been good. Good, good weather. Sunny, even if it’s a little bit chilly. There’s a brightening aspect to that whether in your heart hope so.
2:00
That you are remembering who you truly are. Who’s truly alive inside that heart of yours. What energy is really alive there? And you know it’s no joke. It’s no whoo whoo mumbo jumbo to say
2:19
you are the light. You are a spark of the Divine and you are powerful beyond measure.
2:29
And it’s always up to you. Whether or not you choose that or not, you know?
2:35
Yeah.
2:37
Over here.
2:40
Over here I need to make a few adjustments.
2:45
Leaning way over the desk every go over here. It’s a beautiful day. It is so sunny and beautiful out. The sky is that perfect kind of blue marching the squirrels running around on the top of the snow in the backyard.
3:00
Again, I can still see some berries clinging to a few of the branches outside the window here and
3:09
those branches are bobbing and weaving in the wind. It’s about 12 degrees Fahrenheit, and with the Windchill, it’s like minus one so kind of cold. Kinda when mama go out and stand in my bare feet today, but it’s it’s beautiful, and I am doing wonderfully Wow, I am still in this process of deep integration, dyno tune dyno. Don’t know if you heard the last episode where I talked about expansion and contraction. I am still in that place of re acclimating to the new normal after returning home from a nice long time away in Italy, reflecting on a lot of things, so I’m excited to talk to you about something
4:00
That has really been occurring to me and I’m going to call it the reaction distraction. By that I mean we can get so sucked into our own reaction to things that we become distracted from the beauty and the and the light and the truth and the love that’s always present in the now right here and now we can get so sucked in and so sucked away by our own reaction that we are so distracted from the very things we keep saying we’re going for on this spiritual journey.
4:47
that’s what we’ll do in a sec.
4:49
But you know what comes next? Did you bring a cup of yummy with you today. I hope you did. I have the last two tea bags of my way. Wake up tea. sista Trader Joes blend. Cinnamon spicy. It’s pretty good with some cream and I forgot the stevia. I forgot the salt. But I’m just winging it. I’m just going with it. I hope you brought something yummy to something warm if you’re in the cold like me or something cool if you’re in the warm like a few of you I know. Cheers to you. Cheers to this journey it cheers to the light and are you know, just wow, just wow, this journey. Our here’s our flow are being in the flow. Cheers.
5:40
Did anybody count how many times I just said Cheers. Cheers.
5:47
And I wanted to say a special cheers to Lynn be when you left me the sweetest message last week and you really made me
6:00
My heart. So happy to know that you’ve been listening to the podcast and getting so much out of it. Thanks for taking the time to let me know. And Cheers.
6:14
So today, reaction distraction. They came to me in the night. And do you ever have that where you’re like trying, you’re you’re asleep, but you’re trying to stay remembering of what you just thought, Oh, yeah, that was me. I kept waking up probably every half an hour after that, like, What was it again? Excellent distraction. It’s so good. So to start, I was thinking about how our flight was canceled. We arrived in Philadelphia, and we sat at the airport there for about three hours before we could get on to the plane and then we got on the plane and we taxied and you know how it is and the pilot comes on and the fire
7:00
Flight of bumblebees happened in Chicago. And now everybody has to wait till all the bumblebees clear off the wrong way. Something like that. And so this went on for a bit and he was great kept checking in to say 15 minutes, I’ll let you know, I’ll let you know, I’ll let you know. And then at some point he came on and said, You know,
7:23
they get they open the runway, they’ve cleared the bumblebees, and it’s going to be about six hours before we can fly over there and land and so we’re going to go illegal after that. I love how do they call it illegal Anyway, you know, they’re not allowed to fly for our own safety and there’s past a certain amount, they can’t keep working. They need rest, just like you and I need rest. So we taxied back to the airport and got off the plane and then it was slate. It was psych
8:00
830 at night maybe. First of all, I just want to acknowledge, I absolutely get how everybody has a right to their own reaction, their own experience.
8:12
This is not to take away the validity of feelings we have. And this talk today is for those of us who really want to go beyond a nearly constant state of being distracted by our own reactions on the journey. So just just to clarify that,
8:34
so people were freaking out. And number one and I we stood there for a minute it felt like we were in this
8:43
tiny circle and these just swarm of all around us this swirl of energy and fog of chaos was going around us and we just stood there for a minute. So
9:00
Like getting our bearings. And I don’t know, you know, that’s,
9:07
that’s a little bit how we roll. But it seems to be, especially since we’ve been away, we’ve really shifted in our way of being.
9:19
So we were very slow
9:22
and aware of the frenzy around us. And so
9:27
number one said, we’re just going to be in the flow. Let’s just flow with this with sound. I know it sounds probably a little crazy, but also, that is what it is. This is the journey of being in your heart and remembering who you truly are and understanding that you create what you focus on. What you think about is always expanding and the light which you are and you are light, you are the consciousness of God as an individualized in this body.
10:00
It’s always going with you and creating whatever you decide to point your finger at and say this, you know, so it’s going with you.
10:10
Whether it’s the chaos you’re pointing at, or the peace you’re pointing at. It’s coming with you and it’s creating that.
10:18
So, we stood there for a bit, breathing, watching, and then we realized, yeah, there’s a line you have to go stand in and
10:28
we weren’t really sure but we went and stood there for a bit and we’re in the line with people who are it’s comical to me because they are birching so loud. It starts to get funny to me because it’s like probably 250 people on the flight plus the crew. Were standing this line. Everybody has been disembarked
10:54
and everybody has nowhere to stay tonight and everybody has lost their
11:00
luggage wherever our luggage went. It happened to everybody. But for some people, it’s only happening to them. And they’re the ones purchasing the loudest. There was a lady behind us who kept saying, My luggage is in the belly of the plane, and I have no way to get to it. And it sounded like she was feeling like just everything had done her wrong. And again, not saying that isn’t hurt experience, not saying that didn’t happen. When I’m saying is going with that reaction, you become so distracted from the light which you truly are, and the only help really available to us is in that place of light.
11:45
The only guidance, the only reflection that can help us comes from that light.
11:52
And so as much as we can to the best of our ability we want to practice being in our center.
12:00
and trusting in that flow that things always are working out for us and we always are. Okay, when we get so upset, we zoom so far in on the subject matter. We get so far and have you ever zoomed in on a picture and it gets so pixelated and so distorted? Yeah, we get so zoomed in that we are completely consumed by those pixels by that blurry.
12:32
We don’t know what it is anymore. We don’t recognize it anymore. And all we have is the memory of what it was when we first started zooming in.
12:42
And memory of what it was when we first started zooming in. It’s a tricky thing. And the thing about your yourself is that we are always creating what we’re focusing on. So the more zoomed in on the upset, the more they can
13:00
created. The truth is we’re completely free to go any which way we want with this. I feel as somebody on this journey with limitless possibility and choice in terms of what I want to believe and feel and think I,
13:19
you know, I want to be in that place of expansive joy and ease and appreciation.
13:26
I want to remember
13:29
other people, I want to remember the pilot, who probably feels a lot of things, having to say that and do that and did a really amazing job to keep everybody informed, but I imagine what it’s like,
13:47
you know, to have people be mad at you, blame you. This has happened to me. This has probably happened to you too. I wouldn’t be in the place of remembering. You and I are one
14:00
It’s not me against you.
14:04
And I’m the only one who matters here. That kind of selfishness is really painful to be on the other end of, isn’t it? So this is why we’re, we’re waking up. This is why we’re working through it. Even if this is a really unconscious thing for you, even if you’re just barely getting what I’m saying. And I mean, no disrespect by that at all. I just think this is kind of an out there conversation I’m having with you today. You just need a little bit of willingness. You don’t even have to know how to make it happen. You just have to be willing. So if you’re somebody who’s listening along and you’re saying, I am somebody who wants to let go of my drama, and find out what’s beyond that, I am willing to be somebody who can relax in
15:00
moment, I want that. Just a tiny bit of willingness is all it takes. And the Course of Miracles. It says don’t trust your good, just your good intentions. They’re not enough. Lots of us have good intentions, but I want to be a good person. I’m not going to get upset. I’m not gonna react, okay, this is happening. How do I handle this?
15:24
in a calm collected way? That’s a good intention. It’s not enough. We have to trust implicitly it says in our willingness
15:37
and concentrate only on being willing.
15:42
And don’t let yourself be disturbed by the shadows that surround you. So as the drama plays out,
15:52
you know as the flight thing happens, and more and more people are yelling and swearing, and freaking
16:00
came out and you’re standing there. You’re trusting in your willingness, I am willing to
16:13
stay in my awareness as a Light Sparkler.
16:18
I am willing to allow the flow to happen for me to allow spirit to move me.
16:29
What would you have me do? Where would you have me go? What would you have me say and to whom?
16:35
That’s from the workbook lesson. 71. Such a weird title, but only God’s plan for salvation will work. Sometimes I really dislike the language but again, that’s okay. I’m willing. I’m willing to go with the light. I’m willing to practice and receive even if I don’t understand or like sometimes
17:00
The way the words are written I think it is true that our egos plan the upset enough the ego enough it has a plan to seek and never find. You know, just keep seeking solutions but it’s really
17:17
getting you to do that so you can stay in a place of upset and
17:24
as a light sparkling being you are free. I mean you can choose that.
17:30
And you you will find how you rotate like a revolving door from one upset to the next upset. That upset gets solved somehow. There’s another upset there’s another upset there’s another upset and bless these people in the line behind us because we sat across from them while we waited for the three hours. I mean, we didn’t sit for three hours waiting. We walked around and did stuff at the airport. But you know they were in the seats across from us and they were already
18:00
In an agitated state because something was going on previously, and
18:08
I was already
18:10
noticing them and appreciating the contrast to where we had been, what what I felt like we were sitting into like the awareness of
18:22
everything I’ve been just telling you, and they were really already upset. So when we debarked from the plane and they were in the line and kind of going on and on. I was thinking that how the ego does this, the upsets are really revolving so the thing they were kind of going on about in the seats waiting to get on the plane was not what what they were birching about waiting in the line. And you know how kooky things go as it would happen. When we finally did decide to get a hotel room. They got on the shuttle bus with us to the same
19:00
Hotel Isn’t that funny? So they’re they were on the shuttle bus with us and were they talking about the same upset? No, they were on to a new topic. It’s just wild to me because you could be flowing with so many things like wow, how blessed are we that things actually did work out and we have a place to stay and it’s going to be all right. And you know, who can help the weather it I know I said bumblebees, it was really weather but doesn’t Bumblebee somewhere fun thing. There was a swarm of bumblebees and then we would be so happy if there was a swarm of bees, wouldn’t we? I mean in terms of the environment and the bees for the bees, but it was really like a little bit of snow. And you know, they shut down the runway and that just put the big kibosh on everything. I think it just really messes things up for everybody from trying to fly. So
20:00
Yeah, these ladies were such a teacher to me because the next day I saw them and they still weren’t happy.
20:07
And not that I’m expecting people to be happy. I think we do need to work on accepting and appreciating people where they’re at. But it was a beautiful teaching. Here. Here you are, you got rebooked. You got a hotel night, taken care of. There’s even a shuttle to ferry you around. There was a beautiful free breakfast. Beautiful, prepare by beautiful souls, you know, and they’re still bergeon I’m another topic. You have a right to your upset. Just know that your life sparkling self and all of its possibilities goes with and it will honor and reflect more of that to you. And you will keep creating. So if you really are interested in being free
21:00
Even if you don’t know how, even if it sounds ridiculous to our little, little selves, and you just need this little willingness to say,
21:12
help me out. Set me free.
21:16
Let it be easy, you know.
21:19
That’s how you prepare your mind for this thing, you know, this miracle this holy instant where you are like, wow, I’m all right. It’s good. It’s all good. I’ve talked to a few of you this weekend session. We’ve been talking about that how easy it is to spend the day being in your reaction and then being distracted from the journey. And, you know, it’s easy to get so down on yourself for being so irritated or annoyed
21:57
for being triggered for judging others
22:00
People are feeling those who you know, we just call it let’s say feeling the nasty vibes towards other people and
22:10
all of it is okay. You’re you’re not bad. How could you ever be bad?
22:16
You’re an amazing sparkling being you’re not bad.
22:22
And would you like to help yourself out? Would you like another way of being? That’s the question.
22:31
And if it’s a yes.
22:34
Then everything I’m talking about is your practice. It is your practice.
22:41
That’s the way to roll. That’s the way to go.
22:46
Fight from Rome, Islam. It’s I don’t know if it was like nine and a half hours. I was listening to music and watching concerts. I really love that kind of thing.
23:00
Watch one movie, but I love listening to the music. I’m watching. There were all those concerts by Austin City Limits on PBS. So, so good.
23:14
But number one husband is next to me reading philosophy and I said, Who are you reading and he said Marcus Aurelius. It’s so funny. And then in between Marcus Aurelius, he’s reading Lord of the Rings, which I really love somehow that all works. Get out there. And it’s beautiful. But
23:36
he’s been teaching me a bit about this philosophy, called stoicism. This is the thing that kind of blew my mind. It’s totally connected to what we’re talking about today. He says, We don’t react to events, we react to our judgments about them. And those judgments are up to us.
24:01
I mean, that’s really it right there. drop the mic. You know, the judgments we have is what make us crazy. Standing in the line, or
24:16
in the middle of the argument or,
24:20
you know, all the things that happen in a day you’re sitting in the break room and
24:26
you can’t stand your co workers, you know, that just it all seems so pointless.
24:34
That’s what’s going on. There’s some kind of judgment happening inside of you. Some kind of decision.
24:44
You’ve come to some kind of wave become triggered. And the story that starts to spill out
24:53
is not a good one. And there there could be great freedom in this today for you
25:00
If you’re getting what I’m saying, if this is resonating, there could be great freedom here. If you realize the story I’m telling,
25:09
you know, is not helping me.
25:13
That’s great. There’s freedom there. You can drop it. It’s not necessary to do 500 hours of penance, crawling on your knees, or journaling about it, or going to therapy, if you want to you can, because I do recognize sometimes.
25:33
The way I get upset I was telling you in the sec Episode
25:38
71 I was irritable a lot. When I was around other people on our trip, people, some people stayed with us. Some people we’ve we went and stayed with, you know, some people were hanging out. I had a lot of irritability and so I get this very much and I would sit with myself
26:00
And say, Wow, you’re really you know, you’re irritated, what’s going on? And so many of the answers were about my history about the way my dad
26:11
treated me like dirt. And so when people staying with me treated me like dirt, I felt crazy. I
26:21
you know, I felt really irrational. I could have done something in those moments and cracking myself up with the visuals.
26:31
Yeah, I could have really reacted and
26:36
because I’m practicing, I found I was able to take myself out of the room and at least at the very least, go sit
26:45
in the bathroom, on the toilet, not doing anything. I’m not describing that to you. But to sit there and have a timeout, not because I’m a bad girl. You know, I’m not gonna go stand in the corner. Did anybody else have to stand in the
27:00
corner I stood in the corner a lot
27:04
yeah.
27:06
But just give myself a timeout because this
27:11
need not be another Course of Miracles thing this need not be I don’t have to do this I don’t have to go to crazy town with so and so they’re free to get on the bus all by themselves I am not going on the bus now.
27:27
No need
27:31
no need for me to hop in there into that bus onto that bus with you and make it all real. We just go and have a timeout and a breather and relax because
27:44
the judgment back to the stoic the principle of the stoicism the judgments are up to me.
27:53
It’s up to me. You can really practice setting yourself free here and the judgments are up
28:00
To me, let’s practice getting free. Yeah.
28:05
You could really practice with me here. You could be that one person or persons who gets off the plane and is saying I am not gonna burn the house down in my upset now, I’m not going to drop 80 f bombs in the line and yelled a lot so loud that we can’t even hear the directions
28:28
that the airlines is trying to give us.
28:31
Yeah, so
28:34
there you go. Reaction distraction. And, you know, just it’s okay to have a goal in mind. I think a goal a lighthouse at the end of this whole thing is really helpful.
28:48
So decide how do you want to feel how do you want to be? Do you want to be on an adventure
28:55
and keep the perspective in mind, you know, because if you get on the bus to crazy town, you
29:00
You’re not going to be on an adventure that you will want to relive and revisit the photos and say let’s book that trip again next year. That is not the adventure, you’ll be excited to repeat. So may that serve you Today love. I hope it really does.
29:22
I enjoyed it.
29:24
So inspiration today, while I’ve been talking, I’m reminded of that saying, if you do the same things you always do you get you always did you get the same things you always got. I don’t know who said that. But I think it is true. Obviously. It’s true.
29:42
It’s true. So what would it be like to decide that? You’re going to start studying, practicing doing something different, because
29:56
if you’re not happy with the results of how the day is going
30:00
How the week is going how your life is going.
30:03
It’s going to take a shift.
30:06
I did not say the other thing, but we might need to dump something out that we’ve been carrying about. For sure. For some of us, maybe the shift is that you could decide, you don’t need one more therapy session about this upset you keep falling into and you don’t need one more healing session.
30:32
to clear your blockages and overcome your your hurdles. You don’t need to read another book to get more mental insights about why you’re so frigging stuck. You can decide to be free. You can decide to let the past be the past. You can do something different. Do it different. And you know, just a disclaimer. I know
31:00
No disrespect to therapy and Healing Sessions. Hello. That’s how I make my living.
31:05
I’m just saying, like, come to your healing session and ask, How do I move beyond this? I keep falling in the same place. How do I get past this? Show me the way. Help me. How can I expand? My hands are in the air right now, by the way, I think that’s part of the answer. Like the roller coaster, just do this. If you are somebody who is willing, or even willing to be willing to be willing, what we could be doing is saying, help me do this differently. Because this is what I always do. I get off the plane and I drop 80 f bombs and I yell as loud as I can. And then I’m all surly. Miguel squinty Miguel bitchy, and I’m going to not do that anymore. That’s what I’m talking about.
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This is what I do. When my illness flares up. I fall into the story that my life is I know it is over. And I’ve missed all my opportunities, and it’s too late for me. That’s what I’m talking about. What if we dropped that?
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And we started saying, Who cares?
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Who cares about that story because I am consciousness and you know, I’m light. Whoo hoo. And anywhere I choose to direct my light will expand. So I’m not I’m done directing my light on my illness in and that’s a horrible story. I’m done directing my light on my anger, and how unjust everything is. I
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hope you’ll give it a whirl. And I’m kind of digging that word for all right now we have say with the eight, give it a whirl and let me know
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You’re getting on with this. Okay?
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Let’s do it different. We can do this, we can do this.
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Let’s take the letter.
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I got this from a friend on Instagram while I was away and asked if I could read this on the air. It’s hard sometimes to respond in the way that I would love to when you messaged me there and I do. I do sit. And tonight I do sit and see the possibilities and the love and sometimes.
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Yeah, I can feel bad that I don’t have more I can say in the moment, but it’s hard to be able to write to everything. So I usually just ask, Can I share this on the podcast, you know, and we all benefit. So I appreciate that. And this is about the topic we’ve been talking about when we become so upset and triggered by somebody else.
34:01
And then it changes our we become distracted and it changes our whole worldview. And if that goes on enough, we’re permanently in a place of just never really advancing in the way we want to advance. So, this goes out to you, Linda, and thank you very much for allowing me to share this here. And she writes, I’m struggling with a co worker. We have a tumultuous relationship. I’ve been working with her since 2012. She’s 72 years old and loves her job and is obsessed with holding on to it. She is so fearful and insecure and in denial about a lot of things. And sometimes I feel like I can’t stand her. She plays games. She’s passive aggressive, and I feel like I have to dim my light so she doesn’t feel inferior. I hate this city.
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situation.
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I feel so drained. I don’t know what to do. A few years ago, we had a big fight. I can’t even talk to her about little things. And she seems so brainwashed with religion, it taints her every opinion or vision.
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I’m so fed up of living with situations that are not pleasant. Even with certain family members, it is just unpleasant, then I start to think it can’t always be them. There must be something wrong with me. I’ve been praying for a revolution and nothing’s happening.
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Thank you, Linda. I think there’s a lot of people nodding along with you. It does feel that other people are our greatest nemesis. You know, there are practice there are in relationship. So much friction happens. And you’re right as you talk about it. There must be
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something going on, on my side of the fence. Because I’m seeing this upset in myself in more relationships than just with this one co worker, just this one person.
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There’s more. So you’ve done a lot of things, you’ve tried a lot of things, you’ve done a lot of work. And the last piece is to let go. If we are impacted by other people, it is not their behavior. It’s our judgment of their behavior. It’s our story making of what’s been done to us. I was telling you that little while ago about my dad and how a friend on the trip really brought some of that energy back for me in a way that I had to revisit it. I was just so in my unconscious
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wasn’t really aware. And when I started really sitting with what is here for me, what is this person representing for me? And what am I trying to get from them? What am I trying to get them to understand or realize about me? What How is it that I’m wanting them to treat me?
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I started to see more clearly that this was really about my father. And I wonder if you would be willing to just apply that a bit more to yourself because, you know, the gift of other people is they’re not going to change. And it’s such a long way around, hoping that they will, praying for them to change or confronting them and asking them to change. It’s a very, very long way around. I mean, obviously she treats you if she’s abusive.
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You have to speak up and address it, but there was something to what you were saying about couple of
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years ago, you had the big blowout. And now you’re there like a hostage. Maybe you’re a little bit afraid.
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If that’s true for you, there’s no shame in that. I will be honest and say I’m afraid of certain people too. When their anger gets really big, it’s too much for me to bear. It’s too close to how I was raised. You know, my mom would sometimes kick me in the back, kick me in the butt. She’d be so angry, she’d be kind of kicking me down the hallway. I was walking, but she would kick me in the back. And I when people get really aggressive around me, it takes over the fear takes over. So if you feel afraid, there’s no shame in that.
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But we want to address that and love ourselves and help ourselves. So for me, always the step is to realize what
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What’s really going on for us? And to acknowledge that because people don’t change?
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They’re not gonna change. I mean, some people, will I sound so dismal here. Some people will, they’ll work on it, but you can walk away. You know, I was saying not one more hour of work on this not one more book about codependent relationships, not one more therapy session about how she was and what she said, and how it made you feel. Because all of that continues to include the light of awareness into the upset again, and they’d sort of like saying, I’m interested in this topic, please bring more like itself to me. And that’s what will happen. So I’d love you to try to this prayer of willingness. I am willing to see this differently. I am willing to surrender
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I use the S word a lot of us don’t like that word. To use the S word, I’m willing to use the S word and I’m willing to surrender my upset up. I don’t need to be upset over her. I don’t need to give my life over to her. Inside my own heart, I can make the decision to stop being upset.
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And that might mean to distance myself a bit more from our interaction. You may have already noticed this, but
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when we’re focused on the behavior of another person, we’re very involved with them in our heads, even when they’re not around. We’re thinking about them. We’re dreaming about them. We’re remembering them. We’re calling them up. You know, it’s like an old
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it’s an old file in the database. We keep calling that file up. File Number 172. We just keep pulling up file 172 in the Melbourne night 172 please
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Well, and there’s something about that that starts to connect, when you look at it this way where you’re like, wow, I could just stop calling that file up, really, I could make this a practice. I’m willing to make this a practice I’m willing to try. It’s like I’m willing to do something completely different. And let’s just see what the heck takes place. You are free, you are free. And if we allow ourselves to expand a bit more into the,
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the fullness of who we truly are, perhaps it’s much easier to look at this person or look at the people in your family or these repetitive situations that happen and treat it more like a small thing. Because you are this vast expansive being. It’s just a little thing that we’ve been making so big and tying ourselves to it.
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You know, I’m worshipping it in a way, because we believe we have to solve it, heal it, fix it before we can transcend that. Let’s practice this week, Linda, and everybody listening. It’s whoever this relates for. Let’s all practice this week. Let’s all do this together.
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There is something to the sea of energy. We’re all riding in this intergalactic you know, love posse.
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We’re in this beautiful energy field together this matrix and we strengthen one another even though we may never meet in real life.
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we strengthen one another by this practice. So
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yeah, me that serve you. And I’m always here. If you’d like to practice in a session on this topic, let’s do it. This is why I love to do sessions around getting free
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remembering your truest self, so may that serve you and friends I love to read your letters to, can always write to me at hello at Robin hallett.com or message me on Instagram or Facebook. Happy to help where I can.
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So
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if you love this show, there’s a number of ways you could support me in this podcast. I always love your feedback and your your kind reflections about how much you love listening. You can share this episode on with somebody who needs it, share it on forwarded on if you see it somewhere on social, hit the share button and tell somebody else about it. You can leave a review on iTunes. There’s an easy way to do that. If you’re listening in iTunes, on your mobile device, hit the stars and leave a review and new this year there is a donation
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button on the website. And I thought long and hard about that
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I’m open to receiving. That’s what I’m going to say I’m open to receiving and if you feel so moved, that would be appreciated as well. So, one of the ways to support this work, I appreciate you and this has been a great episode. I hope you’ve loved it. I hope there’s been good nuggets there for you Good nuggets.
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And I am off to
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making a yummy Tuscan bean soup. I should call it Umbrian bean soup because we were in the Umbrian region, you know, and I’m off to take that off the stove and put it in the snow to chill it all the way down. I always loved making soup, cooling it down before we eat it and then reheating it later.
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Seems to do better, the taste wise it’s even more delicious. So
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that’s what I’m going to do. And I’ll be here sending sparkles and inspiration from my heart to yours and thank you so much for being here. I’m gonna see you here next week or in a few minutes. This has been me Robin, Robin, space traveler, love policy extraordinaire, Light Sparkler. Ciao bella. Ciao bella. Bye.