Several years ago I was interviewed on a podcast. It was one of the first interviews I had done and I was so excited about the opportunity to share my message with a wider audience.
I felt a powerful presence within as I spoke, an effervescence that had an after-feel of butter melting. Parts of my own being were clarifying in that conversation, ones which lacked the oomph and stamina to get themselves over the hump previously. Afterward, I felt expanded, there was an inner awareness which knew something very important had happened, but what?
I remember sharing all of this in a group I was in at the time. I excitedly shared how I couldn’t wait to see what upwelled into the lives of whoever may receive it. While there was certainly support there in the circle and even some enthusiasm, what I remember most was the dismissive responses, “Too bad the website has such a poor website ranking, this person’s got no traffic…no one’s gonna hear your interview.”
Because the person interviewing me had “no reach and no ranking,” what I offered seemed to have no value. Could this be true? Really?
While I do remember feeling a bit bummed by their dampening perspective, a bigger part of me left that conversation knowing not to take it in. That’s their perspective, I said as if they know better than Spirit as if they understand ‘reach’ better than the reach of an infinite Universe.
Love is the metric.
I can’t tell you about traffic or rankings. I do what I can to make sure I am found because that is part of what’s being asked of me in the equation of showing up and shining… but the rankings are none of my business. I can tell you about the hundreds and hundreds of thank you notes and experiences of upliftment and healings arising from my offerings. These are MY biggest metrics, these are what I care about.
I suppose it all comes down to what it is that you deem valuable. Is it rankings? Is it money? Is it fame? Is it making your mother proud? I can tell you until I am blue in the face that what truly matters is the light we shine in the world and how clear our inner lamp is but if you believe in a system of value which doesn’t include this, what can I tell you… whatever system you believe in is the one you believe in. You are the one who assigns the value.
I’ve been working on not judging my offerings since forever; it’s a journey I’ve been on for what feels like a gazillion years and this week I decided to put the story to rest that I would ever be completely clear of it. Because, who cares? Who cares, I say to the little voice in my head that so and so said my numbers are small or my mother would have thought so much of what I do isn’t valuable because it does not earn money. Ego thoughts like these will come and go. These thoughts are not arising from my Essential Self, they do not come from the awakened part of me.
I do not allow my inner Darth Birdie to decide what is good and what isn’t, what is worthy and what isn’t.
Sometimes people tell me that they don’t know if what they offer has value.
I often say you have value because you exist and the rest is none of your business. Let go of worrying about the smallness of that story because you are going to limit the light you offer by caring about this. You assign the value to everything you think about. And value is not the point… it’s about shining and shining brightly.
You don’t get to decide the way you shine, just as a star cannot choose – a star is simply a star and it shines. It doesn’t spend precious time and energy critiquing the way it shines. A star doesn’t go around saying, “Oh is this valuable? Do the planets like how I shine? Wait, is this sparkle of mine a marketable thing? Will it earn me some money?” No, a star does not say this. It just is. It’s a star and it shines.
There is an inner voice of value which needs strengthening as you learn to diminish the voice of outer value.
When you hit the place of YES inside your heart and belly, you will know it. It has to do with purpose and mission, yes, but not always directly. Sometimes doing things for joy and delight have great value but they aren’t easily translatable to your purpose or mission in life. You go along doing this activity and while there is undeniable joy and delight, there is also the little Darth Birdie voice in you asking: Hey, does this have any value? I can’t charge anyone for this, so does it count? Will so and so be proud of this?
If we can allow these questions to come and go, without clinging to them or rushing to answer them, so much wisdom will come pouring in. There is an aware inner observer who witnesses these mental shenanigans who can say to you gently: Sweetie, pay attention here… your job isn’t to only be of value, your job is to remember who you truly are and shine. It’s about the light you offer and the clarity of your lamp.
Can we trust in the intelligence of the energy lighting us up in the moment, regardless of the ego-worthiness of the activity at hand?
Sometimes when clients come to see me for a session, they are more taken with my décor than the healing session itself. Sometimes the only feedback I receive after a healing circle is someone asking me for the name of the song I played. Who am I to judge? Time and again I have seen the ways things like the tea I serve or the music I play has a profound effect on helping someone feel safe… how can I know this isn’t THE thing this person needs?
We don’t get to decide how the light moves in people, our job is to clear the lamp and shine.
Do you know that just by being lit up, you are being of service in the world? I know you can’t measure it in the ways we’ve come to measure, but seriously, which metrics matter most to you? Me, it’s love. Love is the metric. And I could say so much about love being the energy of abundance as well… but this is not that post. I have written about how it all connects over here if you’re interested, and over here if you’re feeling scared that you can’t survive on love alone.
Love is the metric and it is affirmed again and again all around you…
Some years ago I fell in love with creating mosaic art. I was smitten with the tiny stained glass tiles and loved to cut them up and arrange them into artful representations of whatever I wanted. I decided I’d make a mailbox. Every day I worked on the mailbox; at first, I was so fired up about it. I’d wake up excited to add a little more to it. But I have to admit something to you. I restricted the joy. I dialed it WAY down because I had this inner booger who kept telling me mosaic art didn’t earn any money, and I needed to contribute to the household. In the end, I made it all very hard until I sucked the fun right out. What was probably a three-day project at most took me months and months and months to make.
The mailbox got finished eventually, and maybe a year after I began, I installed it. It’s been up for years now. It’s been up so long, it is ready for a refurbishment. And just as I wondered if I should take it down, because it looked broken and in need of repairs, I found this note inside it (yesterday!):
Your beautiful mailbox made me smile in the midst of a very sad time. Thank you. Bless you.
Love is the metric.
Who are we to judge how our light moves in the world?
Who are we to say that this or that isn’t valuable?
Let’s get out of our own way and become a clearer conduit of light.
Love is the metric.
Go ahead, let yourself be lit up.
Shine like the star you truly are.
xo
